Innocent eyes, Innocent lives
the day the world lost it's light
In times that are so dark and dreary
Hope only breeds eternal misery

Little toddlers trickling in
preteens just going about
Teenagers just about to begin
All like chalk, were wiped out

Witnesses to horrific crimes
it'd have been better if they were blind
What was their fault, i ask
they hadn't even begun their lives

One death murdered two
a child's death killed his parents too
What was their pathetic excuse
to embarrass humanity,such abuse

Oh those young supple lives
How great was love's demise
So many worlds jolted with shock
Of how humanity came to a full stop.

One thought plagues me
It fills me with doubt
What if I'm always the one who writes
Never the one who gets written about

What if I'm just made to observe
Not graceful enough to be observed
It keeps echoing in my mind's corridors
What if I'm just not enough?

It is in these moments that I run
Into the arms of empty hope
It nurtures me with the fact
That the future is unknown

For all I know I could be plaguing
Someone's mind like these thoughts plague mine
And if I'm not, well then
I'll choose a better role in the next lifetime

Let’s climb up the bed and adjust the fluff
Let’s just sleep because being awake is so tough
Let’s shut the blinds and draw the curtains
Let’s be comforted by the mild darkness so certain
Let’s close the windows and shut the doors
Let’s be embraced by those welcoming blackholes
Let’s leave everyone else out just you and me
Because all I really want is some privacy.

see me bite into myself
see me strike my own health
i say i please people, but i hurt myself so
im the dark side of my glittery show

why is my discomfort so less to me
why don't i care for my misery
im a beautiful mat, that's what i am
please oh won't you walk all over me

i wriggle and rile and get agitated so
squirm in my seat but don't say a word
tying myself up, knots after knots
tired of reassuring others, have to stop

"It's not bad to be nice, now is it?"
I ask myself every time
as I bite my soul hollow,
such malicious, greedy bites

Please sit down, my friend
I'll be serving you in two
Fashioning up another piece of myself
To be oh so nice to you

Guess I should've written it down
Long ago when it had entered my mind
It's  like all the ink bled right out
From the pen I've been ignoring for a while
Almost as if the words got tired of being tired
And walked away from this tunnel of a mind
They dutifully packed up their bags and left
Trudged on into the night
And try as I might now, to place that typewriter
The sounding of the keys sounds hollow
just like the clanging of fake jewellery maybe I've lost it, maybe I never had it
And finally has that realisation dawned
This is all just a rant anyway
I haven't slept properly in too **** long

I tapped on your door
To get your attention
And you opened it partially
I tiptoed in

You started humming to me
Beautiful music
And my steps became more sure
Less trepidation as they hit the floor

And your wings stretched,
your music, it roared
My feet twirled,
seeing you, I soared.

But you started beating the air
Way too fast
My legs started shaking
But I was still trying to dance

But I slipped and fell
On the marble where I'd used to fly
I stretched my hand to you for help
But all the music had died

You'd walked out of the door
I was left locked in
Bet you hadn't seen me dance
To whatever music you used to bring

If you'd just gazed once
I'd have have danced to anything.
I would've danced for you, hon
But you forgot to sing

My edges got singed
Like the crisp paper charred
That sizzling noise
Sounded oddly like your voice
And the blackening is spreading
Like a slow poison
Ugly red blue flames licking at my skin;
The skin that used to sing at your touch
Or like a snake's parted tongue
Darting in and out, in and out
Slowly over my wounds
Lovingly licking venom over
The pained oozing blood

*I am singed
You set me on fire
And honey, it's not even the good kind

Sister,
You are my skin
My bones,
My blood,
You're flowing through me
You ARE me.

I feel you.
Rushing in my veins when something exciting happens,
Because whatever it is, I'm rushing to get it to your ears.

I feel you.
Pounding in my head like the reverberation of a deep bass song

I feel you.
When I hug our mother and you're not there to hijack that hug
Or when no one argues with me when I say that I'm the favourite kid.
I'm not the favourite kid.
I promise I'm not.

I feel you.
I've grown up watching your smile take over your whole face so when something makes those very lips tremble and cry, I taste it in my own mouth like acid.

I feel you.
Every hit and every blow that you have ever felt is a bruise that I have tried to heal on my own body.

I feel you.
So deep inside that unreachable part of me that to hug you I sleep in a foetal position, all bent inwards.

I miss you.
So much that my throat constricts and expands and constricts, as if I'm trying to choke myself

But THAT is where I finally stop.

I stop myself
Because you said that
If I don't breathe,
Then you don't breathe.
And you,
You better keep on breathing.

Slipping off the luscious ivory 
Tumbling fingers melting to nature's symphony 
A dip here, a hustle there 
The strings bent in their own misery 
But a gentle uprising, still beginning 
Coursing
            Burning
                      Waiting 
The pulsing anger in the soulful sound 
Ebbing away gently to be bound 
By the shackles of self, isolated limitations 
Flowing reflectively in its melodious imitations 
A broken heart looking for solace
 But finding music instead 
Tinkles hopefully
                          Chiming
                                    Turning 
Realizing that it's too soon to be dead...

A tempest rises and subsides within me
Building unfurling tumbling
It recedes to build itself up again
Hitting the walls within me
They are thinning, God knows how long they'll last.
Endless waves tossing and turning
I feel it all over myself prickling
Each breath shakes with this storm
And every ***** tickling
I finally exhale, the smoke (of my burnt insides), it seems
I exhale it all from within
And the smoke takes up another form
in front of my eyes, Writhing and slithering;
*It looks oddly like you.

And then I realised what the problem was
You made me feel
You made me feel too much
And honey that's where it went wrong
Girls like me don't want love
They're too scared, too ****** up
You were like a Tsunami, drenching me
When I didn't even want to go to the **** beach
And so I ran, screaming, burning my lungs
You were too you
While I was barely me
So just take me dancing babe
Take my hand and
Then leave me stranded
It's so romantic.

Carly's just blossomed
Now she walks with a wicked twist
And a knowing smile on her lips
While the boys look on
Because that's all they're allowed to do
To take turns to try who gets to woo her
Rather they take turns getting rejected, no one gets to her
She knows what she does to them,she does it a lot  
but who can blame her it's the fault of her lot
She was a lonely child, shunned and ridiculed
Her eyes, still hungry, are dried up pools
So she exchanges love for lust
She tries to get their attention not their trust
She feeds manically on their desire
And the way they want her so
All she does is flash that 'innocent' smile
And the boys keep coming back for more

There lies a closed door in all our lives
In love or friendship, hardships or tries
Between you and me, there is one such door
Which I long to open rather than look through the hole

But there it stands, gathering rust
Waiting to be re approached, like our trust
For you, my dear, don't have the key
And I'm too scared to find out what will be

We try in vain, the hammers of words
To break the barriers, to re emerge
But all it does is dully ache
And slowly away our memory it takes

So I look through the hole
With a hope that's nauseating
That you too are looking through it
That you too are waiting

Whether you’re down or feeling blue,
Or you are burning with a passion red,
For every emotion there is a hue,
The colors of life, colors everywhere

Imagine the mush brown of the Earth,
Meeting the green of the trees,
Rising up to meet the dearth,
Of sadness and the blue skies

Oh! Whether you’re green eyed with envy,
Or are in the pink of health,
There is a burst of contrasting hues,
That account for nature’s wealth

It is God’s canvas, this world,
That’s painted newly every day,
And the colors are what we choose to see,
So what color are you going to be today?

The Whirring of the fan in the dark
As I lay on the cotton sheet
Sleep eluding me, perspiration finding me
This blasted Delhi heat

In the burning orange of the noon
The rickshaw tires play with the dust
And all is silent like a black n white film
It's just screaming in the color of rust

Neem trees, dried leaves
And the buzzing of the evening flies
Time to chase the ice lollies vendor
As the temple bell tolls by

Along comes the night again
Heaving and spewing, choking on fiery stars
Already restless for the next season
Oh why are Delhi winters so far

My bed is an island
And I, its sole inhabitant
It used to be a coven once
Long long ago
When I used to lay with you
Tangled,  like the headphones you kept misplacing
But now it's almost bare even though
I've placed a thousand fluffy pillows
(just the kind you hated)
And I go to sleep knowing that
Nobody else can get in
Cuz I'm on a freaking island of my own
Isolated even from isolation.

bombarded with outer perfection
surrounded with glamour
is any woman portrayed
in her real manner?

You give me make up to hide behind
you write blogs that tell me to be attractive
you govern my beauty with your outlook
and say you want me natural as it is

What a hoax!
If you wanted perfection, buy a barbie doll
it is less expensive and has the emotions you demand
If you wanted ***, talk to your hand
Your preferences are polished yet so bland
If you want glamour, go and read
a barbaric and well-suited magazine
But if you want a woman who's real and true
Don't look at billboards, look in front of you

More than once storms do arise
In the shaky waters of my dark lies
And though some see reflections of hope
The transient waters change my ability to cope

These liquidities always blur the contour
In their chance to ******, in their chance to lure
And though some may easily drown
Some still look on with a pious frown

But the waters never cease to amaze
Me at my own own lies and games
And thus, ignorant of my own depth
I drown in these waters, these cheats adept

For how can you expect lilies to bloom
In this mud of charlatans all to be doomed
And how can you expect me to rise
From the dark shaky waters of my own lies

In the creeping halt of cars
When the signal turned red
I saw him on the pavement
There he was that sleeping man
In the blistering heat, On the Bed of stones
I came across him as accidentally as one
stubs a toe on the edge of a table
-and as painfully too-
I wondered who he was, What he had been and
what he had become
Did he have a family? Someone to wake up for?
I also wondered how easily I could pity him;
And not extend the same sympathy to my own self
  But of course the only answer he graced me with
Was his raspy snore, Breathing in and out, in and out
So peaceful. So raw. So oblivious.
I wished him sweet dreams.
The signal turned green and the world was awake and moving again

It’s a struggle waking up everyday
It’s a struggle having to smile
It’s a struggle to hold back familiar tears
I’m tired of living a lie

I entertain these bizarre thoughts
Dreams and scenarios in my head
Such a mess, such confusion
The same thing over and over again

I wish I could stop obsessing
I wish I actually had a life
God, I wish I could let you go
And finally cut all ties

But in reality, I know what I’ll do
It’s gonna be hard to closeup
I’m sick of always having around
You’re just a toy I’ll never give up

The world is falling asleep on me
Everyone gets their heavy burdened body
Lands on the mattress with a thump and unloads
All their troubles on me
And hey, I'm not complaining, a bed is made to be used
And it's good to be needed, isn't it?
But just sometimes it isn't enough;
Standing solitarily with the weight, oh the weight
There is nothing and no one I can turn to
Or maybe there is but I just like wallowing in self-pity
Either way, all that I know is that the pressure, it's becoming too much
I might crack.

The wind came looking for him
and take him away it did, it took him away
I could only stare as he let go with ease
Up up up and away

I still felt him there, in his room
Maybe the wind had brought him back
It hadn't. It didn't. It wouldn't. It couldn't.
It flew him to the land where they don't turn back

I cried and shouted, screeched and thrashed
The ****** wind couldn't even dry my tears
It had blown away, had set on its path
Never again would he been seen back here

He had gracefully faded and had Let go
like a painting's colors run down the canvas  
That's ****** in the water without its will
And fade into lightness, darkness decompose
Losing their color, lighter still

He flew like a skeletal leaf
Snatched by the wind from its branch
he'd always been elegant, painfully intelligent
So he left with the wind, graceful till the last

I think  of your memories as a rope tied from my ankle to
the dank wall that is my past
And I pull against it with all my weight
I clank my chains to catch attention for help;
Someone does rush up to untie me and as I stand freed from these bonds temporarily
I hear the dooming footsteps of your memories approaching yet again
I ask myself-
                       Will you ever let me go

I wish I could roll you up in a joint
Lick that dry paper with the wet pad of my tongue
and smoke you all day long
Your words get me high
They are so abrasive masculine and rough
I want more
Not that I'm going to tell you
Being one of the many lovestruck
Is too much for my ego
I am more of a far away observer
Immersed but distant
You're a guilty pleasure and a secret thrill
Not that you'll ever know
Because I'd rather burn far from you
Than turn to ashes in front of your
eyes
You see pretty you may be
But you're still just one of the guys

After one point of time cruelty stops making you cry instead love becomes baffling enough to bring tears to your eyes.

Cries shrieks and guttural sounds
They form the chorus of the war
While the thumping of hooves
And clashing of swords forms the tempest
In the weather of war
Thick fog or maybe it's the smoke of burning flesh
Lies heavy upon the ground
While the battle sets are painted muddy and red
From the amalgamation of the flesh torn wounds
into a big throb of disgusting comedy
There is no escaping from this purgatory
Except maybe the moment when one lies cut open on the ground and heaves his last breath

We say we won't let them go
That we'll hold their memories oh so close
That their imprint will linger on our souls
When they aren't with us any more
But time passes and we forget
And there remembrances don't make you cry
You can even mention them with dry eyes
And shards of glass that their absence had become
Slowly soften their edges with time  
So we forget, we forget the pain
But we forget the joy of their memories too
And we move on, like life does
Trudging on with issues new
One day we suddenly think of them
Rather how we haven't thought of them in so long
And then guilt hits dressed up as nausea
Like we cheated on them and did them wrong
And see I'm scared that now that I've lost you
With time I'll even lose your memories
what if I forget you? I can't I won't
I don't ever want you to leave me completely

I like being sad
Just some deep melancholy.
Those random reds
When you're sad for no reason
And lana del rey songs
Seem like odes to you
I harbour and nourish and cajole
This sadness.
My happiness seems lost without it
Like tiny ****** putting holes
In my body and instead of bleeding out
The air seeps in
Sadness is underestimated, really.
I finally see what he meant when
he was asked "why do you keep hitting yourself"
And all he said was
"Because it feels so **** good when I stop."

Don’t remove the weights from your tongue
Don’t unlock the chains from your mouth
Silence is mostly better than words
Your silence to me is devout

Before your utterances destroy us
Before they tear down what we’ve fought for
Stop and listen that I don’t want to
Know how you ripped my heart out

Let’s just stop and fall
Into this flowery hole of lie
Delusion atleast never hurt anyone
Our reality will only make me cry

So don’t say anything, don’t go ahead
Let the monotony not be stirred
Because Everything that needs to be said
Doesn’t necessarily need to be heard

When did I grow up?
Was it when Santa never came
Or the no of candles grew on my cake
Was it when I got to see
That Maturity often leads to misery
Or adults aren't perfect, they ***** up
You've to work hard for forgiveness and harder for love
Was it when problems began to change
From candies and hopscotch to heartbreaks and pains
Was it when I realised that God
Wasn't everywhere, had to be found
Or everything you think isn't supposed to be said
That some feelings may never fully be dead
Was it when I saw how dark people could be
They spoke so well but didn't mean a thing
Or that the ones you love can become sick and go,
That there's such a thing as being truly alone
I guess it was when my awareness started to show up
*Ah, Why the hell did I grow up?

There he lies, the one I love
Separated from me by 6 feet of soil
And every day so many people pass by
And they look on with unperturbed eyes
Have veiled conversations about how he died
These people, the majestically impaired
Carry on with their scattering lives
But I still go there and my fingers lightly touch
The stone that now shows your name
And trace its cold permanent outline
like I used to touch your warm face
And though these tears make it hard to see
They can never block the image of your smile
And though the heavy silence presses upon my ears
I hear your faint laugh echo in the light.
Oh it's torture to be able to feel but not to be able to feel you here
So I make my way back to your stone and trace the outlines with my tears

They fall in love with her
Because she's mean
They like the chase
They just don't know
That she doesn't get caught
While I'm beside standin still
And they don't see me
Won't see me till
She runs away or breaks their heart
And they come to me to mend their parts
They say I wish I'd fallen for you
You'd never treat me like she'll do
And I smile because it's true
I'd like to think so too
But that wouldn't happen, They won't fall for me
You see Boys only want love when it's agony

It’s said your shackles
Are made to order for yourself
It’s said that the walls that hold you
Are made with your own cement

Why do you compare? Let. It. Go.
Atleast give yourself a chance to show.
It is true they have a lot. Things that you lack
But what you have, they can’t imitate. How’s that for a drawback?

So what if we’re broken?
Let our scars be our art
So what if we don’t fit in?
neither does the sun among the stars

The unique absurdities you have to offer
The beauty of The words you have
The sheer genius You hold within yourself
Makes up for all the lack

Oh let us leave the better specimens
In the worlds where they belong
And try to make the most of our world
Where it’s absolutely alright to be a little bit wrong.

I've left and Ive looked back many times
It was fiery, too hot, not to mention
That I'm too ****** up
But seeing the huge stakes of fire
That I've left behind, I yearn
I want to come back 
Try to make it okay
But It can't be the same 
Oh It can't be the same
But I know that's not reason enough to stay away
But you see You can tape the mirror back up
But it'll only show you cracked pieces
Different reflections on what was once the same surface
And you see, the reason I don't come back
Is that I can't create havoc in your life like that
I've left once and now I must go on
Yes I want to come back, But I chose my wrongs
I can't just come barging in again
And bang on the walls you created in pain
So I'll just sit down on the crossroads from where I left,
because in order to unhurt you, I have to act deaf

There's so much to do, so much to say
But words always get in the way
Restricting the meaning, the true emotion
Showing the anger, hiding the devotion

It's a strange thing, a cause of distress
How words are the reason we can't really express
A fake freedom granted, without an end
Restricting any chance to actually comprehend

I want to tell you so many things
Words, that only happiness bring
There is still so much left to say
But, words always get in the way