If I could
Pull my clockwork heart out
From my chest and point
To every gear that refuses to tick

If I could
I would dismantle it in front of you
To show you where
And why it gave out

If I could
I would show you the gear
Unattached to any other
Spining desperately
Because it doesn't know
It's spinning along and for nothing

If I could
I would tell you I think
That I didn't know
That clockwork was so delicate
I think I have clumsy hands
And I broke a few parts
Trying to fix it

If I could
I would give you the windup key
To stab me in the back and twist it
Hoping for something to click into place

But I can't.
I gunked up the keyhole
Hope and fear don't mix well
Like chewing gum they stick
And mix until they're both brown

I can't
Reach that little gear
Spinning so relentlessly

I can't oil it
And stop it from screaming
Screeching so loudly
At all the other gears around it
That won't turn no matter how fast it goes

I can't
Turn each gear by hand
I've tried
No one warned me
That clockwork hearts are warm
And bruise so easily

If I could
I would take up my clockwork heart
In my clumsy callous hands
Feeling it's hummingbird wing beats
Struggling in Morse code
Begging and pleading
To be held gently

If I could
I think maybe I would grip it
Feel it sputter and struggle
Like every time before
Just for clockwork gears
To grind together
To spark for all the wrong reasons

If I could
I would squeeze just a bit more
Until the last spinning gear halted
I would sob as I crushed it
Because it's already bruised and sore

If I could
I would be gental and lay it down
Let it hummingbird wings beat
And see that it's a cog in a dying machine

If I could
I would let it go cold
Numb it so the bruises stop hurting
I would put it to rest for pities sake

If I could
I would be soft with it
But I have clumsy callous hands
And cruelty will have to do
I would dare to call it mercy
If it would justify my tears

Blood of my blood
Prints in the sand
Red it has fallen
From where we now stand

Breath of my lungs
Exhale and lay
The sorrows have yet to pass

The tears that were shed
Have left for the dead
To the end of the day at last

Blood of my blood
Born of my name
Rebel all you like
And see we are same

Plan your escape
Use whispers and lies
Understand I see through your eyes

Daughter and son
The door to life is through pain
So blood of my blood
Wash yourself in the rain

Dash now my hopes on foreign shores
Let the distant ocean stake her claim
She cannot do any further harm
Than silver devils who have done the same

Thoughts of the heart are unrelenting
Yet bared teeth have made
The tongue they bite awfully craven
They dare not utter what the heart may say

Sit among the willows
And do not bow your head
Lay low along the sweet grass
Which hides the stench of dead

Bury deep then
Your darkest thoughts
And think upon them still
As they sit with that which rots

It is not your place
To hide your face
From life which already knows it

Foe nor friend nor love long gone
You may not be guided here
The sweetest wine is dust now tasted
Lay low all which you hold dear

The simple savories you indulged
Have bled through bleeding hands
Now twice and thrice they wither
In foreign familiar lands

Take up this sword O daughter, O son
From now until your job is done
Burn twice as bright as me

Little toy soilder
Sat under a boulder
Your hat has been knocked off

Your knife is now rusted
Your glasses are busted
And you've lost your favorite socks

If your head weren't ******* on
It'd to be long gone
Though where it is now must ****

Your commander is gone
Your friends still fight on
And a bird took your dog tags along

So little toy soilder
Laid under a boulder
Without you the game still goes on

Were I but a butterfly
On eve of summers past
Born to struggles brief
Handed dice not mine to cast

Upon unforgiving wind
Which bows the stoic tree
To land at last beneath the sun
And allow lady death to cradle me.

Ever green the blue grass grows
Sitting now on jester hill
Nonsense spins to nonsense new
And only if she ever knew

Colors pop and fade again
And soon the willow wind blows blue
Sit 'neath the leaning tree that weeps
Follow then the hummingbird

Onward, step with grace and care
Ignore the cat that cannot blink
He cries to a moon that died
Its last breaths drawn in later months

Rest now but do not lay to long
Get up again when the crow has come
If still you lie when the sun is up
Only your bones will remain