what do parking lots
and my heart
have in common?

they both feel so much bigger
at five a.m.

I only took the moon, veiled in my cube;
I drew her innate water off — but not for good.
Now the sun can’t take its eyes
off the blindfolded black moon!

Off this night, the sunup is yet to unleash—
the dawn, let alone the tucked-away noon!

Maybe I fell for the man in your letters
The artist in denial
Perhaps the east mesmerised me further
and the greyer things snapped me back
Deceit is an art, too, you know
and you cannot practise it on me
Let the liquor lay in past places, so you
can become the man, not just his traces

-c.j.

Searching for the forty-ninth state
Seven times seven, known for its parallel
Except she couldn't be more crooked
At first, prejudices tainted most thoughts
But then those white tulips in the backseat
are more than evidence, they are answers
Escape the labyrinth? but how?
Straight and fast-the notes in the margin
They still search, but their consciences have quieted
Escape the labyrinth? here is how:
Through and through

-c.j.

His face in sunlight
It's become a paradigm
This is in no way a genesis
We've seen too many days
But, you, my dear, are
the reason for the paradigm shift
And you have no idea

-c.j.

You just wanted to be able to cry again
Earlier you were at your most miserable
I take note
He hasn't cried since June
and tears stream down my face this very moment

-c.j.

the night has opened my eyes
I see each symbol and number in my deck
from your pack of cards
when I'm small I count my total
and when I can't wake up I realise
love is not a dream

I truly fell for the boy with a thorn
in his side
I am rapt during our every car ride
"you don't have to wake up every morning thinking,
last night I dreamt that somebody loved me"

we breathe the truth without resistance
our clubs and spades and diamonds and hearts
are more vivid than before
the night has opened your eyes
please don't close them when morning comes

-c.j.

I knew I was falling when you said,
"let me take you out," and I smiled
you give me paper knees, my dear
my balance is all thrown off
each breath fills me deeper
with perfume and a cough
can any air pierce winds
dragging me from blue, even oceans
trace all imprinted breaks, my dear
may keeping pieces make you whole

-c.j.

he made me feel like an extra
love wasn't in the cards- it was a possible
by-product because people always wish it
could thicken while lust engages all limbic
faculties
maybe my head held much more freedom than
he was used to
luckily an egregious loop wound me in its corral,
intimidating with what awful perhapses could
transpire
black paint all washed into covers, t-shirts,
white lingerie
even a list fixed of my mother's heaviest hues;
muddled, mindless file, to have with unsolicited taking-
like anyone ever looked anyway!
I am superfluous

-c.j.