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 Oct 2018 Rehanna
celesti
i wrote you
a letter every day
letters to tell you
just how i feel

written in neat, curved
writing i told you
just how sweet
i thought you were
how you made my heart
glow

letters in which i wrote
with various colors of ink
pouring out my whole being
to you

i wrote you
a letter every day.

i wrote you letters in which
i told you how you made me
bloom.

eventually
i found myself
pressing harder on
the paper
than i had before.

creating tears in them
similar in shape
and size
as the ones
inside of me.

i began to send
letters
with creases
and bumps
and stains
splattered with tears

pouring
from my eyes

as i wrote
the anger
bubbling within me.

my last letter
addressed to you
contained
no words

but was blank.
because
i had none that

could reach
as far

and deep

into the cracks
of my
heart

to describe
just
what you

had left
of me.
a draft i decided to finish because it took a totally different turn than originally intended.
 Oct 2018 Rehanna
Chloe
Like an old friend inviting you to come inside.
Familiar. Comforting.
It will grasp you in its arms and hold you close;
And when you're ready to leave, it wont let you go.
You will beg and plead to be happy,
and it will put up a fight.
It will make you think that the only way to escape it is to take your own life.
If you are lucky, you can break free;
and it will sit and watch you from afar.
Calling your name.
Welcoming you back into it's arms.
It will intrude your thoughts.
Make you think you are worthless.
That you're better off dead.
Just keep telling yourself that it's all in your head.
Keep moving. You will get far.
Depression is not who you are.
DISCLAIMER: This is only from my personal point of view and how my battle with depression has been. Even though I am trying to recover, the battle gets very difficult for me sometimes and I have to remind myself that I am not my mental illness. My mental illness does not define me.
What does being happy really mean?
No one can explain it because it's just something we say.
People who look for happiness are often the most afraid of death.
but on that note, what does this life have you thinking about death?
Do you avoid thinking about it or have you come to peace with it? I don't think life should be about happiness.
I think it should be about really understanding who you are.
And not just understand who (your name) is to you
but what is underneath, who you were before society put a name on it, and maybe once you think you have found yourself and your place in this universe, what does the time you spend on this insignificant planet mean to you?
Because happiness is a constant destination
but the journey is the part where you really have to look around and be like... Have I ever questioned the nature of things around me?
need somewhere to save this deep ****  i said to someone, like if you please
 Sep 2018 Rehanna
thepoeticwit
"**** it"
no
I refuted

I said,
"Bless it"

The world is enough a hell to be ******
Why curse it further?
a mini-work

— The End —