My sabina my love my little spoon. I hope you are having wonderful dreams of a sweet loving wolf and an innocent little girl he takes in to his dark den and keeps as his mate forever. I want to tell you about tonight. How I saw wonder woman and how I wish you where there. How they have these seats that drop the arm rests and we can cuddle the entire time. No I want to tell you about wonder woman and more importantly I saw you in her. She's kind humble brave talented speaks multiple languages and all those things are you.. it's the fact she saw good in men kind of the way you see the good in me.. and she fights for love. I see so much of you in her. And when I saw my self.. I relate the best to superman.. even tho I often get compared to batman. Superman has no home. Can't talk to any one about his past. He's alone. He does the best he can but no one can know him. Other then wonder woman and they fall in love. He inspires hope in her and she inpires love in him. I wonder do I give you hope babe? Do I make you feel strong and proud? Because honestly you make me feel like I can fly. That I can carry the world on my back and that what I do matters. You take that lonely man in a cap and you make him proud to say he is your superman. And you are my wonder woman. The most wonderful woman I have ever met and I love you. I hope my nerd rant made you smile I hope it made you blush and I hope it tells you how much of my world you mean to me. My love

Sometimes
I see something
That reminds me of you
A memory of your blue eyes
Invading my mind
And I look back at my path
The one we walk
And I smile remembering you
Not as a stray thought almost forgotten
Nor the broken heart of a bleeding sunset
But as a friend who once walked beside me
Long ago

I hate writing these. This will be the third time. This will be the last time. Summer, My dear summer. I know things got messed up bad. I know I was at the center of it all. Now people say I don't care about you. About your happiness. That all I do is try and manipulate you. That I have always just tried to use you. That I never loved you. This hurts me more then you could ever know.  I know this is going to be long. I need to say it tho and I need to say it right.

We have been together as friends for as long as I could remember. its now been 5 years I known you. You where 14 and your Dad had just died recently. You where there, in Gypsys room. She brought me there to meet this family. There was you and Lexi. And you where shy at first. I didn't really know what to say.  You where scared. Scared of most men for good reason. But after a while you came and you pounced on me and cuddled me. This is where it all began. Do you remember?

You where so sweet and so innocent and so wonderfully helpless. It didn't take long to love you. And I don't think it took long for you to love me. I would come online and I would count 1.. 2.. 3.. 4.. 5.. and there you where calling me to spend time with you. You where family. You where my friend. You where so amazing. At that time I was in a dark place. And so where you. I was full of anger and I was cold. But when I saw you smiling that all melted away. The only time I was angry around you is where I was watching people be mean to this girl with a huge heart.

But years past and things changed. Things grew. Friends came friends went. I was there night after night talking to you. Picking you up when you where broken. I was there when you smiled and I was there when you cried. When you where broken and all you could do was cry and begged for death I was there. All I ever wanted was to be there for you. And tho it killed us. We survived. And I may not be proud of my self for much but if its true you survived because of me I am proud I saved an amazing soul. The world is a better place with you in it.

I have had the privilege of watching you grow. And when you became older and more matured so did our feelings. Some if not every one thinks that's a line we shouldn't have crossed. I could not help it. And neither could you. But I did fall in love with you and I know you did love me. We became more. Some thing I never knew two people really could be. I am glad I could find that in you. Thank you for loving me. For making me feel like I was worth it. You Are such a big part of my heart and I know it hurts like hell to have the person who made such a big impact and who has such a big part of it to not be there. But it is what it is.

I know I have not been perfect. I know I made a lot of mistakes over the years. You say I am human, that I need to let my self forgive my self. I know your right but when you hurt some one you care about deeply it slowly eats you alive. I remember the day Gypsy said I hurt you. That I made you hurt your self for what I did... I was in a dark place.. I was thinking of destroying my self when you came back. Now I am being told all I do is hurt you. That all I do is damage you. That I made you feel like you where not good enough. That you felt like I piece of meat, Summer I am sorry I am sorry for all the times I hurt you and made you feel like less.  I wanted you to feel like a queen, an angel like the drop of sunshine.

You are beautiful. You really are. You have the biggest blue eyes and the most wonderful smile and when you got butterfly's and how your cheeks would burn. I would count and tell you when I hit 1 you would smile and you would beg me to stop. I wanted to see you smile. I wanted to make you happy because when you where happy nothing else seemed to matter. Please be happy again babe. Like that. Like how you would get all excited I would sit up late at night and write you long winded letters to you telling you how I feel. Because you made me feel so much when all I knew before was pain. Thank you for that. Thank you for giving me some thing good. Some thing to remember.

I hope in the years to come I left you with some thing good to remember. I hope some thing I did mattered to you. I know I taught you to fight and I tried to show you how to be like ice like me and just shake it off. Maybe I finally succeeded. But I hope you have some thing better. Some thing good.  I wish I could have done more, had more time to share things with you. I wanted to take you to art classes coz I know how you loved to watch me draw and how hard you where on your self. I wish we could have gone swimming under the moon light like you wanted. And even tho there are so many things left undone I hope I pray I left you with some thing good. Some thing to hold on to and be proud of. A happy memory. A story or a song.

I know I am braking a lot of promises I made to you. I promised I would always be there. I promised to keep fighting for you. I promised I would always do my best and to never loose sight of you and to not let you be the one who got away. You made me promise these things to you. You did. I know I can't. I can't hold you back I can't try and keep you. You have things you need to do. You have your family there and tho I was going to move there to be with you I know that I could never be a part of that. I promise tho. I don't hate you. I never could. I promise that I will always keep a little bit of your love forever in my heart and I promise even tho life is not the way we planned it last year I promise I will do my best to be the best I can and try to be happy.

Summer, I took you under my wing. I cradled you and I put you back together after all the pain you had been put through. That is how I know you inside and out. That is why I know you when no one else seems to. You always said I gave you a bit of my soul to fix your own. I could not have given it to any one better. I know you will make me proud. You do make me proud baby girl. You came so far and your going to be a nurse. Your going to be making other people so much better. I am proud of you. But for you to do that I need to let you out from under my wing. I need to let you fly away. So fly baby. Fly as high as you can and never look back. Sing your heart out and be the good woman I have watched you grow in to. I will not be there to catch you tho, and you need to learn to pick your self up when you fall. I know you can. I know you don't need me to do that any more. You are strong. And I know your brave and you have teeth to fight with. I know, I have seen it. I have felt it from time to time. I know you are going to be ok.

If you ever get lonely my spirit is with you. And you always miss me remember.. what was it you said, we are under the same sky.. or was it stars. And one day when the day comes and I am dust in the wind I will look down on you and smile. Who knows maybe in the next life we will find each other again, maybe we can do it right.

I may not be able to hold you like I wanted to do with my own arms. I may not ever look at you with my own eyes. I wish it wasn't that way. I could have held you and shown every one that I truly do care for you. And tho we need to say goodbye I remember we always said forever and for always.

I will miss you. You where such an important part of me I know you will make me and every one around you proud.

Good bye my little fox you will be missed
Forever and for always
Danny

There is this little fox I found. Dying and hurt. Ripped to bits bleeding out. I saved the poor little thing. Picked it up and pampered it. Stitched it up. Gave it love and attention and fed it. Watched it grow. Then one day it ran away. Sadly it was gone. I cared about her she was my friend. Now this is the tragic bit. It comes back scratching at my door. Some times scared some times hurt and in pain. I try to pick it up and I will take care of it. Poor thing. More then any thing I hate seeing her suffer. Then with out warning she will rip in to my hand drawing blood. Does she forget I was there for her. Does she not care after she gets what she wants. She races off leaving me bloodied. But yet she comes back scratching at that door. Crying. I miss you. And I care but honestly after all I did and all we went through I wish I could open that door.. but I know it meant some thing to me. I'm sorry I could not make it all better little fox. I feel like I failed you.

Had time to think. I'm taking my life back. I had enough being used. I have had enough simply taking what I'm given. I'm done having people come in to my life take what they can and run off. From now on I am looking out for my self. I am going to be happy. And people can get with that program or get the **** out.

*** i cant i want to be with you and your all sleeping and **** i want you Danny i want you i want to be with you, i want to be close to you so close to you, i want to lick your lips and softly kiss you and hold you and hug you, and nuzzle into you, i want to love you, i want to love you in all the ways that are possible, i need you, i need you so much, you have made me fall in love with you just by being you, i love you and i cant believe it took me 3 years and several bad relationships to see that, but im glad you kissed me im so glad you kissed me Daniel, you made my life so much better the past year has been better then the past 4 and i cant ever thank you enough, because you saved me, and even tho we'v been threw hell and back, were still together and were strong, and i dont ever want to loose that, i dont want to be that stupid couple that promises that they'll be together forever and end up breaking up, i Want to be with you i need to be with you, you make up such a big part of who i am, Yes i have my stupid little i want to die moments but thats just cause... i have issues ... and **** but so does everybody else and i cant ever express to you how much you mean to me, i really cant, i love you so much oh my gosh i love you and i cant wait to be with you, im waiting im waiting for that day when you'll here i swear i will like cling to you to the point you'll get so annoyed by me, you wont want to be around but you know what i dont care, i love you and its the one thing that iv been waiting for my hole life, yes granted im only 17 but you know what thats to many years, i finally found my soul mate, the one i want to be with and i swear to you ill be the most loyal wife you'll ever have i love you, i love you i love you i love you i cant ever tell you enought how much i love you, im sorry for going on and on and on but sometimes i just have to tell you how i feel regardless of how much it is and yea, and i do recall that one time when you told me how you love it when i love went or how ever you said it but *** i love you so much, your my forever and my for always i promise <3 till death do us part, but not even death will keep me from you <3 just.. delay us alittle, im not letting go i wont let go i cant let go your just so much of me that if i were to ever let go, there wouldnt be anything left of me... BUT im not so that **** can go to hell... but i think imma stop writing and i really wish you were awake to read this and maybe you are idk but... i love you... <3 my Daniel Bishop Allan <3 i love you, Forever And For Always <3
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~•Foxy-Girl•~

I accidentally clicked fallow on my ex profile and I don't really want to fight. I don't hate her mind you I just don't want to upset her or her family. My cell ******* up and I can't seem to unfallow. This is driving me nuts.