I think I just want someone that can like... crawl into my soul and take up residence there. Know me completely and love me anyways. And provide warn cuddles.

You say you don't hate yourself
When you are up all night crying in your bed

You say you don't hate yourself
Yet you still poison yourself with the lies in your head

You say you don't hate yourself
But you don't stop your toxic relationship with food

You say you don't hate yourself
Even though you never reach out to your friends except when your at school

You say you you don't hate yourself
Then why do you keep making excuses for not going to therapy, even when you know you need help

You say you don't hate yourself
At the same time you apologize again for simply existing

You say you don't hate yourself
While everyone close to you can see inside you're dying

If this is how you are when you don't hate yourself
I'd hate to see what you'd be like if you did

Wearing down over time,
Weather and elements to blame.
Ice, mountain, or metal,
In some aspects, the same.
Add a little pressure,
Keep it pouring on.
Don't do anything to stop it,
And soon it will be gone.
Right now they may not show the cracks
Appearing strong, but they will shatter
Yet, after it's all over,
What does it really matter?
They all meet similar ends,
Mountains eventually turn to dust,
The ice will soon melt,
And metals  begin to rust.
Foundations will crumble,
Empires will continue to fall.
Everything we know will be gone.
Leaving nothing behind at all.

To strangers, she's just the quiet girl,
In the corner of the room
That nobody really pays attention to.
To friends, she is the one
Who will always have their back
And carries the secrets others never hear.
Her family, they see (fake) smiles
Believing everything is fine
Not understanding.
To herself?
Yes, sometimes she is happy
But more often she is screaming inside,
Trying to break the cage
She feels trapped in.

Can't you see
How your words are breaking me?
Almost two years later,
And I am still left wondering why.
"Let's just be friends."
Did I do something wrong?
I asked, but you never said.
So here I am, blaming myself
Wondering what I did,
To make you leave.
Never wanting to let anyone in,
Afraid life will just repeat.
Because all I can think of
Are the words you said
That broke me.

Mirror, mirror on the wall,
Why do I bother to look at all?
I already know what I will see
And it's not what I want to be.
Who do I want to be?
I am not sure I know anymore

Did you mean it
When you said I was smart?
What about when you told me I looked beautiful?
Or when you claimed you loved me?
Did you mean it then?
I guess you didn't.
You keep treating me like I don't know what I am talking about,
And you point out my flaws again.
I guess you didn't love me either,
Because when  I needed you, you were not there.

I am not afraid of falling.
I am scared of not being able to get back up.
I am not afraid of leaving.
I fear, though, that I will never return.
I am not afraid of changing.
I am just scared of losing myself in the proccess.
I am not afraid for today.
I do worry about what tomorrow will bring.
I am not afraid of a little push
I am afraid of being pushed past the breaking point
And what I will become when I am.

My thoughts are all wrong
So they say.
I guess that means it's wrong
To look forward to another day.
My thoughts are all wrong
Assuming they are all right.
Meaning it must not be ok
To dream good dream at night.
My thoughts are all wrong
They think something is amiss.
But is it not a allowed
To continue to wish?
My thoughts are all wrong
So I will stop looking ahead
Dreaming dreams, or wishing wishes
As I lie in my bed.
My thoughts are all wrong.
Then how should they go?
Funny thing was,
When I asked, nobody seemed to know.