Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Ralph Bobian Aug 2015
Have you ever hated somebody you loved?
Did you ever feel way too smart to be making decisions so dumb?
Have you ever given up, but refused to admit it, so you continued to try?
Have you ever lied to yourself that you're happy, just to mask the undeniable sorrow you feel inside?

Have you ever felt so much for someone, that it's caused you to become numb?
Have you ever tried to win somebody's heart when you know they don't have one?
Did you ever know you were the cause that things ended in ruins, but you were still hoping that you weren't the reason why?
Have you ever ignored the sad and bitter truth that was impossible to deny?

Have you ever tried to maintain your composure only for the one that you love, in hopes that they'll stop being the one that's making you come undone?
Have you ever fought to prove and convince to your love that you're not anything like the demons they've been with, that you've slowly become?
Was there ever a time you felt so lost that you tried doing things in reverse, only to make them worse,
when your only intention was to try and make them right?
Did you ever pretend that things could be like they used to,
Just to maybe see any hope in the future,
When you know that hope will always be out of sight?

Have you ever tricked yourself into feeling better by thinking your pain is at an end, and finally done,
Only to realize that the real pain hasn't even begun?
Have you ever wrongfully blamed the only one that gave your life meaning, for being the one that ****** the meaning out of your life?
Have you ever tried to fix your situation, by purposely making it worse, and embracing a bitter hatred that you never thought you would come by?

...I have...

Will it be too late when I finally stop hating the one that I love?
Or will I continue to let them push me to end it myself and be done?
Why can't I stop confusing true beauty from spite, and just admit I wasn't right?
...Just admit I wasn't right.
I need to stop seeing things backwards and finally realize...
that you can't **** spiders,
by stepping on butterflies.
This poem was influenced by things I've gone through but more than anything is a realization poem.
Ralph Bobian Aug 2015
Live like you're dying
even if it's killing you
Then you'll die smiling
My first haiku!!
More difficult than I thought.
Ralph Bobian Jul 2015
The hardest thing about living
Is not wanting to die.
The hardest thing about giving
Is when instead your heart
Is feeling pried.
From my chest cavity within,
Emptiness..
Where it no longer lies.

From the very depths of my heart,
I've confessed my eternal love.
From the very first breath of our start,
All others, you've shone eternally above
From the first days with you
It's my heart, you've unintentionally won
I've ripped my chest wide open
So you'd see, that surrounded by blood and bone,
Is just a black and empty hole.
Because my heart, to you it now belongs
And in my possession... Is now all gone

So even though you often feel alone in solitary
Just know, my love, it’s my heart you have
To always carry.
So whenever your cold
And life feels torn,
Please use my heart to keep you warm.
But PLEASE to you, I plead and cry
With chest wide open
As I lay here and die
Even though I'd do it just for you,
Please don't let me bleed myself dry.

All I do everyday, is hope that tomorrow,
You can replace in my chest
This bleeding hole, empty with sorrow,
And save me from feeling this misconstrued,
By finally trusting in my love for you,
And letting me have... Your heart too.

Even though it's sometimes hard to live
Know that for you I try
And even though it can be hard to give
I'm all yours,
and I hope one day again soon
..you’ll be all mine..
Ralph Bobian Jul 2015
What can I tell you
About how I feel?
I can express that I'm aware
of each one of my emotions..
And that I know I need to heal.
I can tell you exactly where they came from
And what exactly caused them.
I can describe the unbearable pain they've given
And that I'm working to resolve them
I can explain in the most specific
and descriptive ways
How hard it is to face these emotions,
Each and every day.
I can weave my words on how I feel,
In ways no one else can say
Just to make you comprehend the stress
That my mind and body pays

I’m a thousand miles from my own words
But the first to understand
It's like I'm fixing you a puzzle,
But the pieces are too far
from my reaching hand.
It's like I'm writing you a story,
But run out of ink to write the end.
It's like I'm without a paintbrush
While I paint an image in your head

So although I'm self-aware
Of every emotion that I've expressed..
I'd rather be completely clueless,
And unaware instead.

Even though I can explain my emotions
Down to the finite and specifics,
Even though
I can admit that I know
That I've become undone
and feel unfinished..
this entire time
I know you’ve tried
But there's a point that you've been missing.
I want so badly to feel completed
But the tools required

...are non-existent.
I feel everyone has a hard time expressing their emotions or even admitting or knowing that they need healing.  What I find even harder, being VERY self-aware of what's going on or knowing that things need to get better, and then you don't know how. That *****. This is for everyone lost in their own translation
Ralph Bobian Jul 2015
The greatest advice
I can ever give
Is never take any advice
Don't get yourself caught in a vice
Wondering if everyone views
What you're doing is right
Only you can figure that out
So figure it out
...Figure it out
The only ones that you should
Stress over about
Is you and yourself.
Make mistakes, bury a hole,
Make yourself stronger
so you can pull yourself out
So the next time around
There'll be no doubting about
What you're doing is right…
Just never take any advice
When someone's pounding on you're dreams when they don't believe in you or have NO IDEA what they're talking when they're telling you how to do it...

— The End —