wind below, sky above
rain is a falling that i love
earthy flesh come anew
torrents destroy the battered and bruised
rejuvenate my soul, be free!
run rampant, shout, proclaim with glee
let thy happiness explore
what nature's beauty beholds once more
-
-z.z

for the longest time i've been trying to figure out
what it is exactly that you see in me
i've been beating myself up over things you say are beautiful
don't fret, darling it will be okay
pain cannot be healed by four airless words
i wear labels because for some odd reason i like the way they look
you keep trying to peel them off
why do you keep believing in what society says is beautiful?
quit trying to change me i don't remember who that girl was stop it i'm not her anymore
you were never her but she is you and i love her. i love you
i am not beautiful
i am not whole
*no, you're you.

i know that some day
i will cease to exist
all these poems will be hidden in places i can’t remember
maybe someone will think to look but won’t come up with enough pieces to see the whole girl
my facebook profile will remain like the messed up diary of some girl who tried to write but couldn’t
my twitter account will be airless thoughts in 160 characters or less
and my tumblr will be subtle signs that say in fact no, i wasn’t okay, but thank you for liking my poetry posts
no one is going to think to look inside my head where the things that matter will be forgotten
maybe
they wouldn’t want to look or shouldn’t look because there isn’t anything beneath the face that never smiled
there isn’t truth hiding in the veins that shown through iridescent skin
they’re not going to think to look at me
inside of me
my collection of books will be boxed up and maybe taken to bookmans or goodwill
they’re not going to think to look inside those books to see my scribbles in the margins
i’m a fighter
i don’t know how long i’ll be around for but i know that despite my best efforts to change something into something bigger, someone else into someone,
i will be forgotten
so let this be another poem that you will read and forget about
maybe it got published or maybe its still sitting in a cardboard home
this is proof that i lived
don’t tell me it’s not enough because i’m sick of never being enough
i wouldn’t like to think that my life was for nothing
so take my words
to heart because darling,
you will be forgotten too
-
-z.z

i don’t know why they keep telling me
broken wings cannot fly
because i’ve seen more brokenness fill the skies
than wholeness every occupied
when feathers float tear soaked
feet push off of the ground
gravity has got nothing on me
i may be broken but i’m ******* free

every last word
was for you
those that i
didn’t know how
couldn’t ever say
i was always
afraid how do
i do this
me and you
so i never
showed you my
other other side
i’m not ready
for the trainwreck
i’ll inevitably cause
my thoughts derail
hold me prisoner
going full speed
she’s so real
she’s always there
she doesn’t exist
she’s my friend
she is me
this is me
i love us
i really meant
every last word
-
-z.z

maybe i'm crazy
or maybe i'm a poet
you know they tell me you can't tell the first sign of going mental when its yourself
but i have oceans inside of me
and every time i cry i wish i could be a tsunami
or a hurricane
its not that i fancy destruction but rather
i like a nice clean slate
i like
second and third and fourth chances
i like you
that should be music to your ears because I
chuckle
i don't like many people
yet if it is music then it must sound god-awful
because every time i tell you
you cover your ears and scream
they did tell me i was mental
but i bet you didn't hear that either

there are too many times when i feel alone.
i could be in a room surrounded by people
and not know a single one or rather
pretend i don’t know a single one
i worry about being a bother
am i annoying you yet sorry i’ll
stop
i’m lonely i’m alone i’m so sorry i’m alone i’mlonelyi’malonei’msosorryi’m–
okay. hi. who are you?
you are lonely too?
goodbye. see you soon.