i thought the braces would have stopped those people from talking
i thought starving myself would have made me feel good
i thought ripping open my veins would take away all of the pain
i thought boyfriends were supposed to compliment you
i thought my parents would be proud of me

maybe one day when my hair falls perfectly and my thighs don't touch
i won't think as much

YOUR ARMS FEEL SO ******* GOOD AROUND ME BUT YOUR HARSH WORDS DON'T

When I went to your house, I felt at home again.
Your dad gave me a hug. He probably felt each bone in my body rattling inside of me. I couldn't bare the thought of losing you again.
By the time I left your house, I hadn't stopped crying. Your lips stung my forehead. Your lips tasted like hell.
I wanted you so badly for all of the wrong reasons.
I wanted you to help me love myself. But you only hated me. You only muttered words under your breath.
When I got home that night, I finally stopped crying.
The "home" I felt at your house, was just familiarity.
You never loved me like I needed to be loved.
You changed.

i wish your eyes were as transparent as the alcohol you used to drown yourself in
maybe then i could know what your thinking
instead, all i see is the sky
i wonder what you see when you look into my eyes

it seems almost as if
you created the
world
because i find pieces of you
in everything
even though
i only
want to forget you