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Stop thinking about tomorrow
Stop thinking about yesterday
Stop stressing
Don't beat yourself up something that wasn't your fault
That part when your voice cracked was probably no big deal
Get over that speech you have to make
No one is going to remember what you said or what you did
It might sound harsh
But you are a tiny grain of sand on a beach miles long
sorry I'm so harsh
 Sep 2014 Rachael Robins
lil j
I'm trying to escape this body but I'm trapped
I'm hammering my fists against the walls of my veins
but there's no way out and no way in
I'm left alone in this dark space that used to be my mind
there's nothing left here besides my slowly deteriorating corpse
I'm sorry
June 14 2013
This is the desk I sit at
and this is the desk where I love you too much
and this is the typewriter that sits before me
where yesterday only your body sat before me
with its shoulders gathered in like a Greek chorus,
with its tongue like a king making up rules as he goes,
with its tongue quite openly like a cat lapping milk,
with its tongue -- both of us coiled in its slippery life.
That was yesterday, that day.
That was the day of your tongue,
your tongue that came from your lips,
two openers, half animals, half birds
caught in the doorway of your heart.
That was the day I followed the king's rules,
passing by your red veins and your blue veins,
my hands down the backbone, down quick like a firepole,
hands between legs where you display your inner knowledge,
where diamond mines are buried and come forth to bury,
come forth more sudden than some reconstructed city.
It is complete within seconds, that monument.
The blood runs underground yet brings forth a tower.
A multitude should gather for such an edifice.
For a miracle one stands in line and throws confetti.
Surely The Press is here looking for headlines.
Surely someone should carry a banner on the sidewalk.
If a bridge is constructed doesn't the mayor cut a ribbon?
If a phenomenon arrives shouldn't the Magi come bearing gifts?
Yesterday was the day I bore gifts for your gift
and came from the valley to meet you on the pavement.
That was yesterday, that day.
That was the day of your face,
your face after love, close to the pillow, a lullaby.
Half asleep beside me letting the old fashioned rocker stop,
our breath became one, became a child-breath together,
while my fingers drew little o's on your shut eyes,
while my fingers drew little smiles on your mouth,
while I drew I LOVE YOU on your chest and its drummer
and whispered, "Wake up!" and you mumbled in your sleep,
"Sh. We're driving to Cape Cod. We're heading for the Bourne
Bridge. We're circling the Bourne Circle." Bourne!
Then I knew you in your dream and prayed of our time
that I would be pierced and you would take root in me
and that I might bring forth your born, might bear
the you or the ghost of you in my little household.
Yesterday I did not want to be borrowed
but this is the typewriter that sits before me
and love is where yesterday is at.
why cant i even dream
desperate and so lonely
i've looked for you
i left behind all that i
have ever longed for
cold wins scream through my ears
like a banskee
a freezing chill
a pain, that still will haunt me

yet i have made it here
running through all the fear
the sadness in my heart retains the pain
and if i fall i've learnt that i may not return
none of my love remains
yet i have made it here
make this pain dissapear
my one and only prince charming

that's when i wonder...
**why cant i even dream?
I saw a great sign the other day.

"True friends stab you in the front"

I think it speaks for itself.
I would rather know the pain is coming, then having hit you with no warning. That is what really kills.

— The End —