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Holly Mar 2015
I'm not sure when it started, or why it is so strong.
On the outside I seem happy. No one thinks anything's wrong.
But on the inside I am dying, screaming for someone to see
That the happy smile and carefree laugh is not the real me.
I've never been happy, not that I can recall.
Between the world and myself I've built up a wall.
I don't know why I'm like this, it makes no sense to me.
I actually come from a very close and loving family.
But even they have no idea of the hell I endure.
They think I'm happy and normal; of this I am sure.
I can't take it much longer, I can't live like this!
I want to feel truly happy, that is my biggest wish.
I need help, but who will help me? Who could comprehend?
Is there anyone out there who can help bring this to an end?
Or am I simply trapped, a prisoner of despair?
Am I really all alone? Is there no hope for me out there?
I'm so lost, please help me! I can't do this alone!
I need someone in my corner, a friend to call my own.
Please help me.
Holly Mar 2015
Life is filled with pain,
anger and sorrow.
I need a knife to borrow.
Let it flow against my skin easily,
as it goes deeper and deeper.

Soon I'll be with the reaper.
Tears fall fastly,
Thinking I'm worthless to be here.
All of my frights becomes my fears.

The words flowing through my head so fast,
you ***** **** *****.
Tearing my heart apart and throwing it on the floor.
So I cut deeper and deeper hitting the vain.

Again and again in the same spots,
leaving blood clots.
Don't judge about what I do,
judge me for who I am today.

Even if I'm not okay.
My hands, arms and legs filled with scars.
Each and every one I deserve on me,
because people tell me this all day constantly.

I hate when I believe that every word they say is true,
it hurts.
Wait until it happens to you.
Words hurt
Think before you speak
Holly Mar 2015
Rain, rain, go away,
Because of you the pain will stay.
Slit my throat, cut out my heart,
Leave me here, tear it apart.

Poison tears stream down my face,
My heart beats at a steady pace
As I try to stand again;
Alone and standing in the rain.

I don't need you anymore...
Is what I think while tears pour.
I hate you like I hate my life;
But love is what cuts like a knife.

Love is death and death is you;
Its pain stains like a black tattoo.
Those memories come back again
And bind me in the ropes of pain.

Crimson blood streams down my head
Like a long, silk ribbon, tied by a thread,
To a platinum bullet, a hole in my skull...

...Now just a memory that's faded and dull.
  Mar 2015 Holly
kaden
Thousands of eyes and I only see yours
What the hell have you been waiting for?

Bruised skin, Bruised thighs
I smoked, and never killed the high

What the HELL have you been waiting for?
You're the only one I adore

You've got looks that could ****
They're stronger than my **** pills

WHAT THE HELL HAVE WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR?!

We are friends, but I wanna be more...



K.*B
  Mar 2015 Holly
Ashley Etienne
This is not to say that i don't still look at peoples wrists or that i finally know why i'm here
its not to say that i like that you have scars on your wrists but that i find comfort in knowing that you won't judge me because you understand what it feels like to be attacked by your thoughts and have them wreak havoc on parts of you that only come out when the moon does and how sometimes you lie to your friends because you know they care but you tell yourself they don't
because it makes you feel better without feeling too good
in the sense that you know sadness is an addictive trait and you know better than to let it consume you but you let it anyway because it makes you feel more human
and this is to say i know that you wont judge me when i say even after all the warmth i still prefer the rain over the sunlight.
sometimes i get sad
Holly Mar 2015
...
Did you ever love someone and know
They didnt care?
Did you ever feel like crying knowing
It wont get you nowhere?
Did you ever look into someones eyes,
And say a lil prayer?
Did you  ever look into someones heart
Wishing you were there?
Did you ever watch someone walk
Away, not wanting them to go?
Did you ever whisper "God i love you"
With not letting them know?
You cry at night  in misery and almost
Go insane.
Hell, you dont even know one ounce
Of my pain.
All this **** that you put me  through,
This is something i dont wanna do.
One little slit upon my wrist.
God even knows i wont be missed.
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