Go somewhere else where I can see you
Smile
Go somewhere where there's light on the
Leaves
Somewhere where there's the calling of
Geese
Where their clamour floats like plankton through the
Breeze
And you are sitting under the linden
Tree
On the spot where you feel most
Safe
Between two big
Roots
Wearing
Mother's
Coat

He sat at a table across from an aquarium
A fish gulped water and would watch him
He gulped coffee and watched a fish
He pushed his food around on his dish
They were friends you could say
They saw each other each and every day
They never had any words to share
So not great friends- to be fair
But they have a connection
Just a small touch of affection

And that's the best he had at the moment

"That outfit doesn't suit you" says the impeccably dressed
"Your back is breaking out" says the clear skinned
"You are actually really really dumb" says the complex thinker
"****, those teeth are yellow, you should brush more" says the one who does
"What **** chat, you're not clever" says the quick witted
"Look at those chicken legs!" says the one who squats
"Why can't you manage your emotions?" asks the one who's matured
"Stop watching **** and get a girlfriend" says the one who has a girlfriend
"Clean your ******* room" says the one from his organized bedroom
"Stop smoking, it's not healthy" says the one who doesn't need to
"You have to stop skipping meals" says the one who isn't nauseous
"Stop feeling sorry for yourself, it isn't attractive" says the happy one
"You're not a bad person" says the good one
"Let people love you, but also let them not love you too" says the brave one
"You've got to stop procrastinating" says the one on time
"Write things down, make good habits" that one remembers
"You shouldn't hate yourself, forgive and grow" this one I like least
"You are really awfully dumb" this one repeats himself the most
"You're so dull" says the one who isn't
"I hate you" says the one who tells the truth
"You could be what ever you want if you stopped listening to all of us" says the one who I barely hear
"We're not us, we're you" says the one who's truth is the hardest to hear

I gave everything I had
To something that would fail
Turned brightness and colour
Into something much more pale

"Don't worry it will all be ok."
"Nothing bad, will ever happen to you."
Were just some of the lies I told
It was all much worse, what happened to be true

I'm sorry I lost; the house, the car
Your mother's necklace that night
My lies became a tempest
Destroyed us like that kite

Remember the one with the yellow tail
I held the spool, and you held the line
A sudden gust, and off it went
Straight into that old white pine

The one we used to climb
We'd climb to the top
Sway with the breeze
I said I'd never stop

But I am a liar
Which now, you're well aware
Back then you weren't though
I acted like I didn't care

About myself, or others
I thought it protected me
It was that high pine perch
Too high for anyone to see

I'm trying to climb down
But I need a hand
I've been up there too long
Been so far from land

"You don't remember me do you?"
She shook her head, hid her face and clutched her mother's jean skirt.
"I used to pick you up and spin you around, the Rollercoaster. You remember the Rollercoaster don't you?"
It was evident that she didn't.
"It's been a long time, she's still so young." Her mother tried to comfort me, as if it were the daughter's fault she didn't recognize her father.
Her deformed, monster of a father.
I didn't mean for my voice to crack, my vocal chords were some of the few things that weren't damaged in the fire. Now they fail me?
"Little Piper," she still hid her face the deep blue denim folds. "Pipsqueak, my  little Pip."
But she turned and ran, she had two little pigtails that waved me goodbye.

I can't afford a therapist
So I go to free counselling instead
I guess it's the same
But I hear doors banging in the hallway
I know the woman at the front desk
I saw someone from high school
I saw a friends mom
They saw me leave the mental health clinic
Sup
I make conversation
I smile
I'm polite
I leave quickly
My hair is blue now
My ears are pierced
I've lost weight
I still can't grow a beard tho
I can't remember any stories
I don't know if I've had fun
I am not conscientious
I have trouble speaking outside of my script
I lost my train
And I flub my elocution
Pronunciation is hard
Easier to mumble
Deflect
Hide
and disappear

Am I really someone special?
Of course you are
How do you know
You're special to me
What does that mean?
You make my heart beat
You make my pulse pulse
Isn't that special
That's just adrenocorticotropic
**** we're more than just cortisol
Are we though? What makes us more?
You can think to ask that question
So what who can't
You make my epinephrine spike babe
Thanks, my endocrine glands are addicted to you
Don't worry about it, we're just sacks of meat
Hehe flesh bags coursing with chemicals
Right, your thoughts are just electricity
You're a battery, a light bulb and a RC car
You're a self guided drone with no master
You're sweet, lets go recharge
Powering down the fleshy prison
See you in day 9101 of my imprisonment
See you in the fourth dimension
You're right see you there first
You are special
You too