Obsession
Is an addiction.
Addiction is exhaustion
of energy, willpower, and faith.

Jealousy
Is an emotion
meant to be felt, acknowledged,
And treated with gentleness
But also firmness.

Love
Requires no promises
No guarantees
And no reciprocation.

And sadness, loss, and fear
Is what I feel.

Life's just a bottle of embarrassment with a lemon of succes.

It's fine
I mean it when I say,
That everything's fine
Even if I'm slowly losing my mind
I'm fine
You can believe me or not
But I'd like to say one more time
That I'm fine

It's right
Nothing better than this
Optimistic lunacy
In the face of cold misery
Dead friends
While they drink themselves to life
Smiles ten miles wide
But I know that it's alright

Break backs
Trying make them take me back
Send love but it's never enough
I guess I'm alright with that
Send notes
Written in calligraphy
All the words read perfectly
Crying out to come back to me

I'm fine
Please believe me when I lie
Straight to your worried eye
That I will be just fine
Take time
I smile when I hear the words
Please, say that you're alright
Even when I don't know what it's like

The feeling of dread in my chest.
The panic in my heart.
The swirling thoughts in my head.
The tunnel vision focus.
I made a fool of myself again yesterday, and the morning is full of regret.

I want to react, but I know that to react is to make it worse.
I want to fix it.  But behaviors cannot be undone.
I want to climb into the hole I just dug, and ignore the world now.
I want to stop thinking that my life holds so much importance.  That my actions make such a difference.  I want to stop worrying so much about if people like me, or what people think of me.  I want to remember that the world always has abundant opportunities for growth,  love, and friendship.  That to be uncomfortable now, is simply a period of reflection about who I am, and who I want to be.  To be scared of myself, is like fearing my own shadow, it's not living.

So I pick up my bleeding heart, my heavy head, and my swollen conciousness, and I take a shower, and start a new day.

Your name, so unique
your eyes, so handsome
your tongue, so absent
your bite, so forceful
your ****, so hard.
and now, back at home, miles away,
I pine for your attention,
its not enough.