you tripped over love
and fell straight into lust,
i finally learned how to
trust
only to be left in the
******* dust

momma you just don't understand
i love him so much
it's more than i can stand
i can't be your little
angel
because i fell for a boy like the
devil
he ripped me apart
he ate my heart
now I spend my days sliding down
bathroom stalls crying
my nights doing unforgivable things and lying
i won't go on with this any longer
i'm sorry that im a **** daughter

My stomach is killing me and I don't know if it's because I haven't eaten in 4 days or if it's because I heard someone say your name. You're stuck in my chest and I try to get you out but the cigarettes make it harder to breathe and the ***** makes it harder to think of anything but you. I know you were never really mine and we were never in love but oh god we could've been. You're the face I look for everywhere I go, wether it's the gas station to get a pack of gum or a party I know you'd never go to. You're the voice I needed to hear when I got the call about my grandfather. You're the touch I lust for when it's 3 in the morning and I've got the weight of the world on my shoulders and I don't know what to do with it. You're the smile that could cure the deepest depression. But you're also a disease. You're the pain in my stomach when I'm trying to hang out with friends and you're all I think about. You're the tear stains on my pillow from the night you told me you loved her and I swear I cried every tear that God gave me. You're the void in my brain, the part that makes it impossible to fall for anyone else, to let go of you. You're the gravity that drags me down, brings me to the middle of the kitchen floor asking God why it had to be me. You're everything. You're everywhere. You're the disease and the cure. And I don't know what the **** to do with or without you.

one cut, two cuts, three cuts, four
maybe just a couple more
five cuts, six cuts, seven cuts, eight
now it's just a little too late.
i wasn't seeking death, but i also didn't fear it
i tried to tell mom but she said it was *******
things are blurry now, i can't walk in one lane
i promise it wasn't to **** myself
it was just to **** the pain

the only time he ever held my hand
was when he led me to
the bedroom that night
both high as a kite
my first love was my worst love
it was innocent and pure
but oh my god that first heartbreak
it was like a disease
and there was no cure
he touched me and my innocent soul
became unclean
god fourteen was so incredibly mean