I miss you I miss you
Oh this is nothing unique
Countless writers before me
Have been stuck on this
Destructive streak
But I am not in denial
I know what is true
We were never meant to have
Our hearts beating in tune
Your path in life steers right
While mine inevitably turns left
But I oft wonder why
We cannot make them contrive.

You see, I miss you so much
Your face, it does haunt
My every waking move
Your gaily laugh and cheeky grins
Those geeky glasses too big for
That stupidly small stubby nose
And don’t even get me started on
That long mass of unkempt
Purple hair
Purple, my favorite color…
Well it is
Back to that plain, ordinary brown I suppose.

You messaged me a few weeks ago
“I miss you so”
Really?
Do not bother
With such half-assed quips
I doubt you miss me so much that you
Are crying like a newborn in a crib
You “miss me” because you have not found
A proper replacement
Once you meet that new girl
I know I will be resigned to
A fading light in the corner of your mind’s basement
You “miss me” because there is no new
Furrow for you to Burrow
I am guessing you’ve been unlucky
In seeking opportune ******
Once you plow the fields again
A forgotten mishap
Will surely be my fated past.

You miss me you say
Well I doubt that is the truth
You don’t miss me like I
Miss you
Because you see,
I still love you
Ardently.
Through and through.

I wrestled with Time today.

And I lost.

Another second,
another hour of my life blew away,
tossed on the winds of chance,
and the stirrings of change.

I lost,
because I could not stay-
lingering like old photographs
in a box in the attic,
gathering dust
on memoirs from the past
that I wanted to forget.
I wanted to erase,
to scrub clean,
the guilt,
and horror,
and pain I have gone through-
the hours crying in the dark,
curled up against the wall;
the moments of embarrassment and dismay
at having failed;
the terrible irony that makes up my waking existence,
my very being.
I wished for something different
wished for Time to stop.

I lost the battle today;
because I can't stop if I don't have you-
because all of Time
and all of Space doesn't matter
if I don't have you there beside me when the universe ends.
I lost because I want to lose this battle,
because I want to see where life will take us,
who we will become through Time's endless passions.

Will we grow old together,
as we imagine we might;
sitting on an old wooden porch,
laughing at the world?

Will we find the answers to the world's imponderable questions,
to ourselves?

Or will we discover that it all doesn't matter-
that the truth is drawing breath,
our hearts beating in tandem,
our hands touching for the last time
before we drift to sleep?

I lost the battle today;
and I don't regret it at all.

I lost
because I love you.