Come with me to a land
We’ve never been,
Of sparkling waters and golden sands
And sirens and pirates and
Adventure. Whisk me away from this
Grey place where my heart is heavy
And I cry as much as it rains.

Run away from here and start
Again. Learn the language, live in a ******
Apartment, just you and me.
Let’s go, pack a bag and let’s
Run away from Time and his harpys
Called responsibility and growing up.

Please, take my hand.
It’s time to leave all this behind.

I wouldn’t call us a party.
It was at the beginning,
But not any more.
You don’t acknowledge my
Existence any more,
But never mind.
There’s always another party,
Always an excuse to dance.

As much as I want to feel loved,
I don’t think I am lovable.
I fall too fast and always, always end up
Laying on the concrete with
Blood in my hair.
I have flaws, everyone does, but I’m always
Afraid that you won’t love me, not the way
I need you to. I’m terrified, like a cat in a
Thunderstorm, that someone will
Put up with me for a while
Then leave.
And I’ll be left to wash the rust out of my
Hair and wipe the black and grey from under
My eyes.

Easy, simple, traditional.
What you always start out with
Before becoming more adventurous.
After trying other things, you may find yourself
Not wanting to go back to the
So called

‘Boring’

Flavour. But I don’t think it’s boring at all.
It’s simple, something you can find
Comfort
(and pleasure)
In.
There’s no shame in not wanting to experiment,
As some nasty people would have you believe,
Nothing to be mocked at all.
You can have whatever flavour of ice cream
You want. It’s your choice, my loves.

The sun streams through the patio doors and
I watch a spider building its web outside the window above the sink,
I heard birdsong, I count three different ones
(I’m no david attenborough, I don’t know what they are).

A shadow cuts across the light as a bird flies to settle on the roof and the man painting our hallway
Leaves,

“You’ll have some peace this afternoon.”
He says halfway out the door.
I smile. Yes, peace.
Thinking everything and nothing at the same time,
But not feeling the heavy weight of sadness that
Nestles in my chest more days than not.
Peace.
I guess my mum was right,
I do feel better when it’s sunny.
Must be the vitamin d.