i get it
i really do
when you tell me that it feels like
your mind is playing tricks on your heart
fumbling around with the fragile little strings
ruining the perfect harmony of the puppet show inside your mind
tangling the strings
talking away their ability to act our their designated parts
but the show must go on

i get it
i really do
when you say that your lungs are distracted
they cant focus on their jobs and just let you breathe
they stop pumping air at random times
like you used to forget to turn off the stove sometimes
when you were cooking him dinner late at night
and the smoke would full up the whole kitchen and the fire alarm would blare
but you would just swat the broom at the fire alarm on your ceiling until it shut down
youve got to stop neglecting dinner

i get it
i really do
when you say that youre fed up with it all
and you hate the world almost as much as you hate yourself
theres no point in living when youve given up
theres no way to heal when youve
reached the point of no return

i get it
i really do
because im there right now too
and i havent found the answer yet
i know that neither have you
so let me hold your hand while you hold mine
and we can sit in piles of snow while we let the feelings fall out

we can do it every day
until we decide to get up and build a snowman
or make angels with our bodies

for right now we can sit
and remember that we have each other
you can live for me and i can live for you

just until we crack the puzzle of living for ourselves

Running after ghosts of the past,
whilst stepping on glass shards,
you spend your days chasing the next high,
not knowing that you’re getting caught in the lies.

Like a spider that
meticulously weaves
and endlessly plots,
you take your strides cautiously,
yet still with a hint of mischievous spontaneity.

But the train tracks ahead of you
that are littered with rocks
and the crunch of footsteps behind that mocks even you,
never falters, never ceases.
You pace yourself as though you're running,
but all you're really doing is falling.

You’re drowning in quicksand,
making waves in the pits.
Distressed cries; not knowing where you’d land.
You wait to see if anyone will save you,
not knowing that all you ever needed was yourself.

Do you not see, do you not hear?
That your heart is hurting?

Its asking you to love yourself a little more,
to let your guard down and soar,
to bless yourself with change,
although it may be strange (to you).

This life is an endless journey of self growth,
charted by fate, and
accompanied with love,
but only when you let it happen,
will it make you great again.

You asked for honesty and I gave you nothing but the truth.
Words falling from my mouth, landing in a pile at your feet.
Mercy. Have mercy on my soul.
I asked for forgiveness and all I saw was your hand reaching for your keys.
The door shut with barely a sound, and I felt the world stop and freeze.
Mercy. Have mercy on my soul.
I know I made a deal with the Devil, and heaven knows I ate the forbidden fruit.
I'm on the edge with the pills in my right hand and Jack Daniels in my left.
Devil hold my hand while I tumble over it.

Counting down the minutes. But the minutes turn into hours. Time's spinning backwards. What have I done? I didn't mean to push that button, it was so inviting though. I look at my hands and they're covered with multiple equations; various numbers and variables that I can't understand. They told me I'd understand when it was time. Time. Time is something I do not have. Time. Minutes and seconds and hours. Numbers. But these numbers work against me. I push and push to no avail. I'm stuck in a clock, watch everyone I love die in front of me.
Looking down on the chaos, I realize something.
I had the answer all along.
That button. That button I pushed. I should've pushed it twice.
Time. Something that once again thwarted me.
Time. Something I'm going to work for the rest of my life to get back.

No
One
Cares
That
I
Am
Slowly
Dying.

Words, thoughts
Tangled together in my mind,
Waiting for the one little push
That makes me fall off the edge.