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Kaylee 1h
Drowning.

How long does it take?
How long can I hold my breath-
How long until the quiet shatters,
and my body begs for air?

I know people who drown.

They drown in their own tears,
hearts sinking in feelings
they try to hide.
Those are the pieces
that should never
be left behind.

Their eyes drown
when the blink away storms.
They wear hoodies
not for warmth-
but so no one
will fear the flood.

They drown in secrets.
Secrets people already have heard.

The ones who drown
sometimes wear a frown.
the ones who drown
sometimes hide it well-
with wide smiles,
and laughter that echoes
through their town.

But even in the deepest tide,
a hand can reach,
a voice can call,
a light can peak through the water.

And those who though
they would never breathe again
learn that the surface
was closer
then they could ever wonder.
Cold as the land of polar bears,
I’m so free in a place so bare.
Find me, oh please, bring me near
Set me free from my own despair.

And I tried.
You can’t say I didn’t with what I had

Imagine a classroom with no teachers,
Or the sensei missing from a dojo full of creatures.
That is a senseless demon.
Martin died too early, I never even got to dreaming.
Gandhi lived his peace, and I can’t seem to find where is mine.
A person becomes a warrior when he fights.
Against the rot that gnaws away at the life.
Tearing in long suffering.
Igniting burning anger amidst despair and helplessness.

Bitterness is too bitter to swallow. Humiliation is too humiliating to lament.
Misery is too miserable to bear.
Pain is too painful to feel.

That is what remains when life is gnawn away.
Losing life is the same as dying.
Waiting for a slow painful death.
Drowning in self pity for an unfair fate.

Deciding to fight against rot is courageous.
To regain the life that was gnawn away.
To regain the honor that was trampled away.
To be able to live fully again with honor.

A person who fights has honor.
Fulfilling the nature of a warrior because of self respect.
When dying in the struggle means gaining the honor of a warrior.
When living in victory means gaining the life that was fought for.


August 2025

By Alvian Eleven
Elliott 1h
I hope life is worth it after this
All this pain and suffering
All these sleepless nights
All these tears
All of this hopelessness and helplessness
All this fear
All this rage
All this heartbreak
All this unmotivation
All this numbness
All this depression
All these suicidal thoughts
All this trauma
All these negative thoughts
All this pessimism
All of this feeling of directionless
I really hope life is worth it, and there’s only one way to find out.
Written on 8/19/25
Elliott 1h
The world crumbles around me and still I smile
My worries pile up like bricks and yet I stand in front of them blocking your view
My thoughts grow loud but my mouth stays silent
I cry behind closed doors so no one can see my tears
I smile when I wish I could scream
I carry compassion because I know what it’s like
I remember when I was younger, I used to plead to God to relieve me of my pain, because I was too scared to do it myself
After I stopped believing in God I’d plead to my father’s headstone to help me be strong
I know what it’s like to suffer alone
Crying in the shadows of your own home
Your mind a deadly volcano, not just for others but for yourself
Everyday feeling like a trek through sludge
Everything seems like a chore even things you used to like, even if it was just the day before
Proper sleep seems like an impossible task
Proper eating even more impossible
Believing things would just be better if you weren’t here
that the pain would end if you weren’t here
that you wouldn’t have to deal with anything anymore
that the people around you would be better without you
These voices so loud you wish they’d shut up
Believing the only way to silence these voices is to no longer be in your mind, but to be in a headstone next to your father’s
But part of you is scared, maybe even doesn’t want to let go just yet
Finds things to live for
but I’m tired of living for others, I want to be able to finally live for myself.
Written 8/3/25
When Intuition goes to battle with Reason,
these are usually quick skirmishes—
but this one has broken into war.
The campaign unfolds on the soil of abstraction,
reality, spirituality, and poetry.

Intuition begins with overwhelming superiority—
three of the four fields are hers.
But Reason is insatiable:
guarding the kingdom,
minimizing the losses,
holding the troops’ morale.

Its advisor is Faith—
the Eternal Outsider.
Usually Faith stands by Intuition,
but now he has slipped quietly
to the opposite box,
losing his own faith… one could say.

Intuition without Faith is dangerous.
Her box is always draped in dark lace curtains;
only her voice comes through—
no one has ever seen her face,
except Faith,
who would never stoop so low as to speak of it.

Some claim she is not even human,
others say faceless,
and in the inner circles it is whispered
she wears Janus’ face—
(probably only for Faith,
a mocking trick against hypocrisy).

Yet for the audience outside,
listening from afar,
plain common sense whispers only one thing:
she is a shapeshifter.
Heresy.
Maybe that’s why they are so quiet.

Why is Intuition so dangerous
without her two-faced advisor?
One might suppose the real danger
is the opposite:
that religious fervor seeps into her field
and sprouts the weeds of fanaticism.

For Faith hides not only
fat volumes of sermon under his cassock,
but the stone tablets of morality.
He has, they say,
even used them in close combat.
Effective: the laws of physics themselves
lend the swing its momentum;
at the moment of impact
it already speaks the language of Force.

A cudgel in Faith’s hand,
a drumhead tribunal—
the kind that applies laws literally.

When he sits beside Intuition,
his chair glows in full illumination,
stage-lights blazing,
the glare descending like a halo.
From that light,
behind Intuition’s baroque curtains,
she too takes on form—
not just a whisper,
but an active member of the council.

Without him,
Intuition grows overconfident.
If no one sees her,
perhaps she isn’t even there.
Her influence falters.
In her own words:
she has free rein.

In such moments,
Intuition dons the mask of the prophet—
a mask that grants
a dangerous confidence.
ā€œThe prophet does not err—
he is only insufficiently zealous.ā€

And at the final word, help arrives.
It is Obsession.
She lays her hand lightly
on Intuition’s shoulder
and says nothing but:

ā€œYou are right.ā€
Khoisan 1h
Lā¤ļøVE are so beautiful
candles flicker
in a room
without a breeze
softly spoken
solitude broken
the essence of life
heated woken.
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