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I have longed for you
In my dreams and my wishes,
neither to come true.
You didn’t want my love
just everything else.
Took my time, my peace, my pride
Then whispered poison in my friends’ ears,
Made me the villain while you played the bride.
But when I finally found my voice,
And faced them with truth, not noise
They saw me still, the same old friend,
Not the broken man you tried to end.
I was all replaced with love and compassion
The light in the corridor
smells of summer plants
of tall stinging grass
burning heat
on white flowers
that are too bright to look at

it sounds like crickets in the night
just outside our window
and for some reason
of the screeching of a car
on the asphalt

it looks like pearly sweat
on your skin
after a day of hard work
and your hands stained
with white dust and paint

it sounds like your voice
mimicking mine
but answering prayers
behind calls in the night


As the light turns off
I realise
I never stopped worshipping you
a part of me still lives in that summer
I think about giving
If I had something,
Something that makes me happy
But what I like to do
Is hold joy in my mind,
Keep it there,
So I don’t drift
To thoughts of my own fate
That unknown answer
That waits in silence.

Because I have nothing.
Nothing that’s mine.
Nothing to give.

But if I did
If I did,
I would give it.

And that,
That giving,
Would make me happy.
It's all we have
I write and write and write
in no way am I laconic
the words flow and flow and flow
pages and pages and pages filled
watching notebooks pile up
my thoughts and emotions
filling each page
my very essence poured into my poetry
laconic is never and will never
be a part of me
laconic: (of a person, speech, or style of writing) using very few words
I am comfortable with veracity
facts are true and unchanging
solid and reliable
something I can depend on
but my emotions hit me at full force
they leave me out of my depth
they're chaotic and everchanging
it's like being thrown in off a cliff
and struggling to swim in a choppy ocean
I can say I'm going to college
that's a fact
but emotions come in to play
when I think of how I'm leaving
my parents and cats
eagerness and uncertainty
hope and fear
excitement and homesickness
veracity: conformity to facts; accuracy
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