I think of how
I used to smile for you
offer you more and more
until I had nothing else to give.
how empty
how lost and lonely
I always felt
and I believed I had enjoyed it
How easily I lied
to myself and to you
in order to make you feel better
while I still went through hell.
all you can say
is that I didn't see
how much you cared
but really, what was there to see?
other than the tears
and the pain
and the desire
the lust for your love
the love I could never win
even though I laid claim to it.
How unfair you were
though I am not bitter
Because now he makes me smile
and it feels genuine
and best of all,
he smiles back.