I’m tired of trying

There have been too many tears

All these nights that I’ve been crying

The burns on my arms

I’m terrible at hiding

But no one cares

So I don’t have to keep fighting

My parents don’t know

The pain I’m still going through

I’m “as happy as can be”

Who knew

There are cuts on my stomach

My hips

My legs

I don’t tell anyone

About this pain in my head

No one knows

About my long-term sedative

I’m getting better

Except for the fact

That I don’t want to live

I feel so ashamed

Because I’ve tried so hard

To fight for you

But it’s hard

And I’m still scarred

But I want you to be proud

Of this smile that’s been misplaced

Not of the make-up running down my face

Not of the blood that seeps through my skin

I’m “getting better”

Though I’m dying within

I’m ready to go

My thoughts always win

I’ve lost everything

Though I had nothing

To begin

With

My open eyes

Every night

I still cry

In the bathroom at school

My shoelace

******* high

Just a loop around my neck

Just a jump away

I’m ready to go

And my body will sway

Back and forth against the door

I just know you’ll be okay

Without me you’re safer

When I’m gone it’ll brighten your day

I’m sorry I made you go away

I’m sorry I made you feel that way

I hope my tears will brush the pain away

I’ll be gone soon

So say

“Hooray!”

I won’t bother you

Another day.