Home is a funny word
Home is something I thought I never had
In middle school
In high school
I was tossed about
Adrift
My home was a suitcase
My parent's houses, hotels
I didn't live in one place enough
To form the close bonds
In order to have the kinds of relationships
That I needed to have.
I became self-destructive
By the time I got to college,
I wouldn't know a friend from an enemy
If they punched me in the chest
Threw me against a wall
Or held me down and hurt me
But then I found that I'd had friends all along
People who wanted me to be safe and happy
That I had been too destructive to notice
And as soon as I realized that,
New friends appeared
I cleansed my life of my enemies
and I began to find myself
In the sea of hate
So when I left my mother's house in September
I didn't think I would feel the loss
I had left the house before
But I didn't realize the difference it would make
To know I'd never come back.
And these city lights
Are beautiful
But they are not my home
My home is where my friends are
My home is somewhere between us and me
So if I get forgetful, text too little or if I text too much.
Know that I love you
And I'm just a little out of touch
With how friendships are supposed to be
And that I miss my home now more than anything
And I miss my family too
And though I may have been broken
I'm fixed now, good as new
And I hope you love me too.