Nov 2014
I would love you if I could,
but I swear to god
his hands still glide over
my body in the night.
And his breath still
warms my neck when I'm alone.
I still feel his eyes watching me as
I shower.
I still hear him crying saying he's sorry.
But most of all
I still hear myself telling him its okay.
I love you more than anything in this world
but how am I supposed to show it when
every day it feels like I'm being ***** all over again.
but I swear to god
his hands still glide over
my body in the night.
And his breath still
warms my neck when I'm alone.
I still feel his eyes watching me as
I shower.
I still hear him crying saying he's sorry.
But most of all
I still hear myself telling him its okay.
I love you more than anything in this world
but how am I supposed to show it when
every day it feels like I'm being ***** all over again.
I lock every door and I close the blinds. I keep my head down when i walk through the streets. I hate walking past his old room so now I avoid that hallway. I don't drive by his high school friends house, so I take the long way home. My eyes can't focus when I drive by the national guard building because that's the last place I ever saw him.
But no that's not true because I saw hin buying drugs one day and I got so high that night I couldn't even move. I smoked away that panic on his face when he saw me walk by. I still wish I would have yelled and screamed and told him I was hurt.
Because now I can't be in public without feeling violated by the eyes of strangers.
But no that's not true because I saw hin buying drugs one day and I got so high that night I couldn't even move. I smoked away that panic on his face when he saw me walk by. I still wish I would have yelled and screamed and told him I was hurt.
Because now I can't be in public without feeling violated by the eyes of strangers.
