now would be a great time to be here for me

i can't breathe
     i'm shaking
     i can't reach calm
     i'm all thoughts
     happening at the same time

i drew blood and i didn't want to

i'm usually okay
     if i find a distraction
     someone to make me forget the pain
     people say they'll be there
     but no one actually cares
     so i'm left alone

but when i'm alone too long
     i only inflict more pain as my rage grows
     no not rage
     numbness

numbness is all i feel

so i bring on the pain in hopes to feel real
     but it never really works
     never works only hurts

and when i feel this much hurt i get scared
     i don't know where to go

i just need you to hold me and tell me

to forget my mother
     forget my father
     forget my brother

forget my supposed friends who don't care
     don't know what it's like to be pushed this far

forget all the men in my life
     who like to shove me
     push me down
     and lean onto me
     lie on top of me
     to remind me how ******* powerless i am

forget my thoughts and my scars

because you are with me and all that matters
     is you'll never let me go

now would be a great time to be here for me