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Pain that Never Leaves

My pain irks me, Sends me flying into my bed. Under the cover of darkness. As I cry myself awake, Unable to sleep. I ask myself.. Why? Why am I such a screw up? Why do I make mistakes, Knowing my parents will be angry? My tears intensify, My claws take my skin, Leaving bloody marks... I scream in my head, Rocking to the beat of my music, That sings in my ear bud. Evanescence, Rascal Flatts. Plumb. Crossfade. I cannot find peace.. All I feel is that pain. That has fucked me over for, Five years. I'm only a teenager, I only can take so much. Until Its over. I've already tried once... What makes you think I'll try again? Dad, What makes you so pissed? Taking it out on me, Because I don't listen? Why can't you and my step mom, Just realize.. That I'm only Seventeen.. And so it says, My title will always stay. Lone wolf forever.. I cant be perfect, It's just not my style. My life is so different, I cry even harder. Mistakes, Promises broken. Two faced liars.. God, Why aren't you here? I need you.. And I need you now.. As my pain intensifies, All I see is the cascading shadows. Watching my every move... My music doesn't help anymore..
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Written by
julie-kirby
20 / F
For You?
Written by
julie-kirby
20 / F
Published
Jul 15, 2014
Lines·Words
71·218
Notes

Really shitty day and my parents don't realize that I'm trying to be an adult.. Not a teenager.. I make split second decisions for my well being. Not their own.

Tags
#tears#liar#change#scars#fml#mistakes#bloody#needyou#godi#screwup
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