Heartache. It's more than an evening or weekend Of ice cream and fine chocolate, When listening to love songs, Or watching rom coms on the couch In jammies--
It's in all those nights of crying While clutching at your pillow, Begging for some semblance of solace.
It's in waking walking wandering wondering. While looking down at your chest, In every other even odd moment of consciousness To check if the hole in your heart Is finally visible from the outside.
It's that deep breath inhaled; To counter the effects of the memories he gave, That enables you to breathe again, And the rapid blinking that keeps your eyes dry-- For just a little longer...
It's in re-building that wall. Remember the wall? The one you tore down To let him in? Only, it's a shade darker than the last time.
Heartache is that deep, bottomless Feeling of drowning In misery and rejection From the one person You singled out from the crowd. It's that overwhelming feeling of claustrophobia; Which tells you, 'If you're not with him, You'll go celibate!'
It's that ghost of a kiss, That threatens to be the death of you; It haunts your lips in your pale reality. It's that hollow heart That longs for his warmth, his arms Those dreams of his beating heart next to yours; Helping you regenerate Only to be broken with sunrise, in emptiness. When those unforgiving rays heat up everything, But you're still freezing...
It's that poisoned apple you ate; It runs in your veins. Refusing to be digested, Causing that overbearing chronic ache That makes you want to scream out In pure agony-- Making you wish, *'If only he stayed!'