pale computer light reflecting off your skin.
shining brightest off the whites of your eyes.
you don’t look at me until I say your name.
I wish you looked me in the eye more.
at college my friends seem surprised when
I say I have a brother

I love you Lucas. I love you so much.

when I got home today you said:
“I’m watching that TV show you recommended,
it’s really good!
how’s college?
how long are you staying?
how was that concert?”
after I talked to you for a while,
I took a shower.
I curled up and cried with my
mouth opened up so wide I could of been
screaming. I made no sounds.
I didn’t want you to hear.
it was the first time you’ve ever asked me
more questions than I’ve asked you.