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18h
On your shoulder stands a monster
Name is insecurity
Grotesque green-eyed gargoyle
Subverting surroundings you see

My heart an antique treasure
Covered in dross and dust
Every afternoon bricks wedged between
Barrier built by broken trust

In haste to label me a villain
Strengths overlooked without a second glance
Few foolish mistakes I may have made
We will never succeed if you don't give us the chance

There's plenty space for us to grow
Turn over a new leaf
Full of abundant paranoia
No room in skull for belief

I cannot take anymore upheaval
Over and over again a skipping track
Interrogation ripping flesh
Infinite questions break back

On map I illustrate details
Appeasing you is tough
Doesn't matter how accurate my statements
Efforts seem to not ever be enough

I feel indignity
Gently caressing insight
Embracing like a family member
Not afraid of standing up for what's right

So very tired of being pegged as the bad guy
I take cover from insinuations
In a brave moment of futility
Kick the door in to house of expectations

I dance in entryway like the whole world is blind
Until I collapse because you make it so hard
Each invalid word flung my direction
Slowly wriggles through thought's guard

It comes together
Pieces of a mechanism
Dismembering my self-esteem
Out of nowhere insults are thrown my way
Rage rises in me like steam

My voices speak brutal tones
Echoing deeply within brain
Sometimes can't tell if my demons are lying
Till morning sheds light on what's sane

Sleeping dogs won't keep eyes closed
I'm turned upside down
I can't help but crawl back to your arms
When day shifts perception around

Every which way emotions are conflicted
Rest when you realize you are wrong
Leaving me alone in peace for awhile
Until next episode comes along

Till my fatigued legs are forced to start running
Miles to showa the light
Fly to a place with less distress
Pinky promise we will be alright

And wait for you to come to your senses
Whether noon or months from now
Playing out scene however it unfolds
In future like a garden we will bloom somehow

In jungle of life where so many are ruthless
Are the only man who catches my eye
Contrary to what imagination might assume
Have no inclination or need to glance at another guy

I told you before and I'll say it again
Simply not that kind of girl
Fact that you would even entertain that notion
Truthfully makes me want to hurl

We have faced fair share of challenges
I'm sure there are more to come
If you want me to be better try building my confidence
Instead of opposite like calling me dumb

Why does it look like you create obstacles?
If let be the path would remain clear
You search so persistently for problems
Eventually they are bound to appear

Making mountains of molehills
Just wish for you to appreciate what you've got
May never have as much to offer as you
I give you my love and that's a lot

I'm left wondering where things went wrong
Striving to present my best
Will you notice what's so obvious to me?
Despite our issues we both are blessed

Think if eyes were truly open
Have nothing but faith in me
Loyalty and devotion are screaming at top volume
You are too focused on my shortcomings to see
Sorry it's a little long
Amanda Kay Burke
Written by
Amanda Kay Burke  29/F/Alaska
(29/F/Alaska)   
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