50 days since my last episode... It’s not much... but it’s progress But tonight... tonight I’d throw it away To hold a knife in my hand To graze my skin with it To watch myself bleed To bandage my wounds...
I want it. All of it. The only thing stopping me is that number...
50 days
I don’t want to tell everyone I’ve failed That I was weak yet again But so badly I want to be weak... It’s going to happen eventually... Isn’t relapse inevitable? Who knows when I’ll see my therapist again... There are already scars to hide So what’s a few more?
I could talk myself right into it
And I ******* want to
Update: had to reset my counter tonight... I’m so sorry to all of you who have been so amazingly supportive... I’m so sorry