I don’t want to go to the lake

It’s too cold
I don’t have a swimsuit
I haven’t been eating well
I don’t like swimming
I don’t like being outside
I just don’t want to

These are all my excuses
But in reality...

I don’t want to have to tell you
There are dark, fresh scars on my thigh
On my wrist as well
I don’t want you to worry
I don’t want to have to explain