i'm writing this because i need to focus i'm writing this because i need to get it off my chest i'm writing this because it's driving me insane rather i'm writing this because i don't know if i'm going crazy or if it's real i'm writing this because i have a mile high stack of responsibilities with my name on it that i can't seem to get to because all day all i do is think of you. so here goes.
i'm still in love with you.
i still think of you every day i still feel your touch on my skin i still hear your voice in my ear i still catch myself pretending you're next to me when i can't sleep at night
so what do you think? am i still in love?
is this just the loneliness of winter in the city getting to me? is this just desperation? is this just having not been kissed in so long? is this OCD? is it depression? is it my anxiety?
or is it you? is it me? was that why you left?
it doesn't matter anyway, right?
each memory of us replaying through my mind like a film with no ending i spend each morning and each night waiting for that final scene
i tried to force myself to think of all the reasons we went bad all the sour memories bitterness i could taste it on my tongue cruel words pouring out of my mouth like hot oil the tears burning like fire from my eyes
but the laughter and the joy keep coming back oh god joy i haven't felt that in a while have i
it had become a synonym for you
now i know that i'm fine i have no trouble getting through
it's just the getting over that's proven hard to do
so if someone could let me know
am i in love?
or is this a passing storm?
will i sink or swim? should i dive right in?
just word ***** because i cannot for the life of me focus because this person won't leave my mind :/