what is real that's what i want to know what exists is anything of this real and if not what is what if this is just a fantasy land inside my own head what if i'm in a coma what if i'm somebody else what if i am the only one that exists what if i don't exist at all what if there is some massive movie screen that everybody can watch from which everyone can see the world through my eyes what if i am dead what if i have existed and lived a thousand times before this what if this is some strange attempt to truly find peace what if none of this is real what if none of this is real if i close my eyes does the world cease to exist and does anything truly exist if it is possible for vision to fade and never return perhaps the world is born when i am perhaps it will die when i do perhaps the world is just snippets thrown together different perspectives different timelines there are explanations the gods of science but who is to say that that is real who can determine what is real is it me is this all up to me to all those reading if there is anyone reading at all i will never know you i will never have a way to know if anything or anyone truly exists this life has the permanence of dreams flashes of images thrown together who is to say what is real who is to say what is real who is to say anything at all my memories might as well be fake so what do i do do i do my best to fit into this make believe world do i let go of the universe and play to my quiet niche or do i let go of the present let go of the past let go of the future and just be who is to say what is real who is to say what is real does the world disappear when i close my eyes does it all cease to be when i die will the world die with me is my body real does it exist and does the world around me exist or is this all just hallucinations is this anything at all i have no way of knowing i can see my fingers i can feel my bangs brushing against my face i can smell the must i can hear the gentle murmur but what makes this real what if this isn't real what happens when it all goes away what happens when everything goes away what happens when i can no longer feel what happens when my eyes don't see what happens when everything fades and even my thoughts go away what is behind the veil what is just out of sight is there anything there at all is it the void is it just the void the blackness behind my eyes stretching out forever is this the flashback before i die is my life running before my eyes is everything draining from me and is there truly mortality do we truly exist at all is there a we or is it just me alone with my vivid hallucinations
it could go away so easily it could be gone
i imagine those chambers those water chambers where everything is silent and the water is the same temperature as your body and there is nothing and you lay in the dark is that dying is that what truly exists or is even that an illusion
is anything real is anything real
There's something so lonely writing this, not truly knowing if anyone will ever truly see it. I know that I will never know the answer. I will never know if anyone exists. But that in itself is the answer, and I hate it, because I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do.