I dreamt
After all these years
My wish to become a mother
Became my reality

I saw myself
With a soft smile
Lovingly caressing the small bump
Protecting my child

Then suddenly
I lay in bed screaming
As I’m swallowed up by absolute horror
Unable to move

As I saw
The most maniacal
Creature made up of all my anxiety
Doubt and self hate

I felt its
Mangled charcoal like
Claws gripping my leg as it slowly
Inched up my body

I could hear
It’s labored breathing
And strangled laughter ripping through
My petrified mind

I woke up
At 2am completely
Distraught as I helplessly fumbled
Through the darkness

Fighting hard
Against something
That wasn’t actually in my room but
I swear I can still feel It

My breaths
Coming out in pitifully
Panicky spurts mixed childish whimpers
A silent plea for help

I felt as if
I lost my child
And every ounce of peace in that terror-
I fear sleep tonight.

ARI