I am so tired of the struggle
Existing every torturous minute on Earth
Want to feel good when I wake up
Look at myself, know my worth.

I want my insecurities to disappear
With me all hours of the day
Tried to abandon them with no luck
Stubborn ******* are determined to stay.

Distort my vision often
Sing fears, remind of the nothing I've become
Watching with glee as I sit in this prison
Search for something to make sadness numb.

A substance to silence my sorrows
Found conflict instead of the comfort I crave
I want tomorrow to carry less dread
Forecast is hot weather, not enough shade.

The Earth keeps on surprising me
How I wish the pain would stop
I miss the days when monsters weren't real
Now my shoulders they sit atop.

The world shakes unstable feet
Each time recovery takes longer
I am beginning to understand defeat
I think about past tears, I get stronger.

Like sun beaming after a rainstorm
I will blaze more brilliantly than before
Confidence shining through open pores in skin
Self_acceptance and forgiveness lighting my core.

I need to change my attitude
Drop bad habits weighing me down
Like leaves shed by Autumn trees
Free myself, let them cascade to the ground.

Mood flips rather quickly
I want control over emotions I feel
I may be happy for a moment but it never lasts
I savor those seconds my smile is real.