he’s so much more than meets the eye he’s the scars on his body and how he will tell you the story of where they came from a million times he’s his clammy hands and the way he will hold yours against his chest and grin when you keep it there he’s the way he brushes your hair behind your shoulder as you speak he’s his contagious laugh and how his eyes squint at the corners or the dimples in his cheeks he’s his tight hugs and on his really good days the way he picks you up in his grasp he’s his adventurous nature and the way his company makes you feel alive and at home all at once but he’s also the way he shuts you out when he hurts you because he can’t face the fact that he did he’s he fits of jealousy and how ridiculously he can act he’s his urge to numb himself and his hate for life because he thinks it’s so pointless he’s his bad days where you sit on the phone reminding him that he’s worth more than he puts himself through he’s his snap decisions where he doesn’t think of the consequences of anything he does he’s all of this and more he’s intelligent kind handsome reckless amusing good hearted passionate he’s perfect in his own way and i was in love with him my god, i was so in love with him still am really but i can’t be anymore two years later and i have to let him go because i still have the small hope that i might get him back that it wasn’t all for nothing we feel unfinished, but maybe that’s just how some things end i know i would go back to him at the drop of a dime because he was my everything and i miss him so much my chest aches but i suppose some people just weren’t meant to be i never fell out of love, i just accepted he wasn’t in it anymore and let it go so this is the last time i will write about him even though as i finish this there’s so much more i could say we might have been a mess complete chaos really but he made me feel safe and loved and important i would never be able to thank him for all he’s done for me and how he’s helped me grow even with the **** he put me through i always forgave and defended him, or tried to, because that was my boy and i loved him he’s the best first love i could have asked for he’s one of my best friends he’s one of the best people i know and he’s going to do amazing things in life and grow to be an amazing man