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Apr 2018
I hope you know I will not tear my insides up for you and succumb to a void of nothingness just to gain a sense of recognition from the limited care you implemented upon me.

I will no longer stay up and spend endless hours deciding if I want to text you apologies or call you at midnight and tell you I miss you because I know you will pick up and your mind will already encompass a sense of pride and confidence that you’ve won the battle over me.

I will show you that I can be okay without your poisonous tongue that rejuvenated the scarce nothingness of the meanings you dreaded to say as in such a way that your fake promises could actually heal the pain that already dwells within my heart.

I will spend an infinite amount of days fighting the images of us actually being something and I will learn to forgive you for your double edged sword that you pierced within both of us to make sure that your mark shall be made to all who dares to even try to love me but only to be disappointed by the hallow form that you’ve created.

I don’t care if it takes years for me to actually love myself again after the damage you’ve done but it will all be worth it because I’ve realized that there is someone out there who just might be gentle enough to help me heal my own wounds and to be the support I needed when I couldn’t breathe on perilous nights that seemed endless.

You may have sparked a fire, and it may have burnt more than actually lit the darkness but now it is igniting like the sun and this passion will continue until I am ready to accept that you were just another stage in my life that was meant to be torn away carefully and placed somewhere that I will soon forget it even existed.

I will love myself again and I hope you learn the weight of your actions and your words that have swallowed up innocent souls that just wanted to be set free.
You told me that no one will ever love me because I was too much for them.
Well, I will prove you wrong.
Jelly Walker
Written by
Jelly Walker  20/F/USA
     Just makayla and Kathleen M
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