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Kathleen M Mar 1
a figure in the mirror
blurred vision
and she screams
inaudible crying
makes her ears ring
and only in silence
jaws clenched
in fear of blindness
she prays to the Gods
nobody agrees with
begging for an identity
to quiet the chaos
she's praying for glue
something to stick
tired and sick
of the nausea
for no reason
give her a reason
just a meal that lasts
long enough
to end the hunger
the peddle that drives her
to change
over and over again
in search of a mask
just something to satisfy
a name to call herself
she begs to bloom
she begs to hatch
to let her be born
into herself
for once
to end the cycle
to be not the picture
painted by others
drawn with crayon pencils
outside the lines
and in all the wrong
Kathleen M Oct 2018
touch my face and feel my gut
it's knotted up, punctured and twisted
with knives of lovers lost
look at me with shame and forget me
no longer call me by my name, brother
i'm barren from the child i chose not to let be
yet still swollen from the emptiness
stepping on nails, sharp as i pace back and forth
tattered soles and tattered souls
can't overcome the obstacle without proper shoes
end my suffering with a needle or two
let ooze the regretful sorrow that feeds on my sanity
drain the abscess that is my conscience
my conscious mind
it throbs beneath my skin
and whispers secrets from ****, ear to ear
on sunny days
tiny voices and threatening reminders
of crimes not yet repented
committed in fear of solitude
ways to escape unknown, unwanted
negligent to what could be
because the what is distracts me
traps me
i must first love myself
to be loved by you
everyday is a chance to recreate
we know that
our limbs grow longer ingesting opportunity
but hear me when i shout to you from the asphalt
the world unwillingly grows smaller and smaller
and chances are slimmer, slander
luck be eradicated
because pieces of us
have been
In reflection of my observational experience with the community of addicted individuals living on the streets of downtown Vancouver, I attempted to put myself in the shoes of the less-privileged to help me understand the cyclical, inescapable lifestyle so many struggle with everyday in our country.
Kathleen M Oct 2018
fell in love with yesterday's smile
a photo at the beach
its thousand words i wished to hear you speak
though they not went unheard
by these eager ears
and hungry eyes
i was famished by the need for you
my lonely heart throbbed an unfamiliar rhythm
a silent mating call
and i heard you then, too
mind flooded with premonition
and demolition
of heinous memories
of previous torturers
employed by heaven
to learn me something
worthy of heirloom
wisdom for my time
and for the times to come
fell in love with yesterday's smile
before our faces met
your photo at the beach
spoke to me in languages not of my mother
its words transcend the time i worship
for now what i worship is you
Kathleen M Oct 2018
little white envelope
sealed with a promise
just like the others
open to find means to a better end
no bitter ends will you let begin
colourful notes meant to read
i love you
words not easily spoken
through clenched teeth
jaws locked
rusted with time
years spent unhinged
spoiled words spoken between lips
unforgiving winds
their destruction still left to rebuild
tension releases by passing annum
moments spent in silence
make way for healing
and days left to heal with you are unknown
days left are precious
words are simple
beholden to their potential
barriers thin but exist nonetheless
not in contempt
but in habit
detox made easier by bullet holes
of past attempts to infiltrate
your kingdom
of fatherhood
Kathleen M Sep 2018
you'd not have imagined
that you'd spend
ten years
relying on daydreams
to subdue the numbness
of sleepless nights
and endless battles
within your own mind
and your own heart
and many men
who said they were
but weren't the one
until he looked at you
through blue eyes
familiar and unfamiliar
as if you were looking
right back at yourself
loving unconditionally
forgiving unconditionally
healing unconditionally
like the saviour that his eyes
had promised he'd be to you
with every blink
and hand in hand
he will deliver you to his heaven
and you will never again
see a greener pasture
Kathleen M Aug 2018
he plays the song
for you that makes
your hips dance and
that makes you feel
like a goddess
his fingers ******
the treble chords
of the instrument
between the folds
of your womanhood
the beat of his tune is
synchronized with
the rhythm of your
heart pounding melodies
against your chest
he reaches out to you
with hungry eyes
that make you beg  
for more before he
has even begun
his body locked in yours
like a puzzle piece
only one possible match
could fit you
this well.
Kathleen M Jul 2018
she approached at the door of our fortress
wielding her weapon of love
forged in tears and old flame
drawn and ready to strike you
retrieve you
imprison you
overthrow me
though she'll never know,
your panic dazzled her intentions
and hidden from within the closet
i trembled in the darkness
in fear and in anger
awaiting her judgment
and i cursed you
for the curse you had put on me
the same curse she had put on you
i swore that she'd been your best kept secret
when in fact,
your best kept secret was me
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