Loving you should be considered as a form of self harm

You are cold and I try to distance myself but then for a split second you act warm again and I can't contain the butterflies flying from my belly to my back and my hands

Why do I always have to choose somebody like you?
Complicated, making me feel unwanted
How dare you give me hope and than take
everything away with a snap of your fingers

Please tell me why
I don't deserve this
Or do I? You make me question everything I do, every word I say, the way I move
My pulse is uncontainable, my head hurts and I can't sleep

I should have never let you in
I sensed you'll be trouble from the begining
But I couldn't help it and now I don't know if I am mad at you or mad at myself

Loving you IS a form of self harm