I sit here in the dark,
the emptiness that
envelopes me.
There is but one question,
one meaning and purpose,
one that I can't fathom.
Through my life, this simple,
inadequate life
there are things I've done.
I've hurt people, torment,
through my explosion of
expression, Anger... Silence
I know I've hurt you,
as painful as that is
to reflect.
Yet, through it all,
you're still here,
withstand, ever present.
No matter what explosion,
what outburst I apply,
here you are... Why.
You say it's out of love,
you say that no matter,
no matter what... Love
I've pushed, I've prodded,
pushing buttons, breaking barriers,
when I shouldn't...
I don't mean to hurt you,
I never do, I never did,
But still you comfort... calm.
No matter the pain,
the pain that I've caused,
here you are, caring, loving.
I know that you could do better,
better than what I offer
a seemingly endless barrage..
Why? Why do you stay,
stay in the place of endless,
endless pain... Why?
Is this the love everyone speaks of,
if so, why am I,
why am I so ashamed, undeserving.
I try to push you away,
because I know I...
I hurt you, yet you stay.
I love you, but I don't,
I don't want you to hurt,
not anymore, let me leave... Please
But no, you won't let me,
you continue to love,
a love that is so... undeserving.
You've done so much,
so much love, but why...
why do you put yourself... in pain?
I don't think that I can,
I don't think that I can
ever make you happy, ever again
Yet you smile, a smile so
full of love, patience
an understanding that I can't accept.
I ponder and I question,
no matter how I drag it out...
Why are you still here?... here with me...
-Navahopi119