I left you behind. I had too, the pain was crushing me. I couldn't breath anymore.
I could see naught but the spectrum of iron and ash.
It struck me so profoundly, As if I had seen the impossible lines In gods ancient hands. A resonating slap across the soul.
I could not be you anymore. But I left you her picture, a beautiful, broken path and I crawled away.
I cried everyday. At first in every regard, and then mostly inward. I became as a black veil as the cathedral I build to her slowly melted away in the acids of anger and pain.
Around the ruin I dug a mote and I filled it with sarcastic regret and I set it ablaze with volcanic irony the hate of how I was.
I built a Castle from my own remains, a dread and lifeless thing. Stone by stone, Quarried from the shell of what I thought love would be Each splashed with a crimson "never again" and set soundly against all who would come calling.
I have lived here ever since. Walls lined with exquisite paintings. Markers of siege I withstood each a beautiful face, lost but never forgotten.
Everyday I sit at a simple table covered in the jigsaw mess of it, a broken song I wish to sing but I am missing so many pieces and I left the box with you.
Every ****** night before I go to bed I look in the silver reflection beset by patina and time and I peer back at the familiar seventeen year old boy there who has yet to fall in love with her, to be wrapped in the glory of her soul and I tell the dreams in his eyes the very essence of him the wayward pieces of me I am sorry, I am so very sorry,
But I had to leave you behind.
My greatest battle I have yet to win is the greatest love I have ever lost and sometimes, on the most quiet of days I am still hollow with it. Thin, Like too much water in too little paint.