it is a terrifying moment when you realize you have lost someone you thought you’d have by your side forever.
when the perfectly synced thumps of your heart go out of order,
and suddenly texts from him are not the first thing you see in the morning, or the last thing at night.

it might be even more terrifying when you find yourself longing for the past. no longer curious about the future. definitely not wanting to be in the present.
the past.
when laughs were shared, kisses given, and intimate moments locked away in the deepest parts of your heart.
you wish so badly to have those moments back.

it is shattering when you realize that the person you love no longer wants to be yours anymore.
when he says that he thinks being apart will do you both good, you agree…maybe it is a good idea;
but hours later you find yourself trapped in bed, unable to move unless it’s to reach for a tissue to wipe the tears you have spent what feels like forever shedding.

you feel true heartbreak in those moments
it makes you want to stick your hand in your chest and dig your heart out because maybe, just maybe, that’ll feel better than the pain that you’re currently in.
But scratch all you want, nothing will help. He is forever etched in your mind, your body, your thoughts, your words.
there is no getting rid of this heartbreak now.