I think it's coming back
My scary thoughts
My burning temptations
And as I sink further into this couch
I want to sink even further
I don't know what's wrong with me
I know what makes me sad
But I don't know why it makes me this sad
Why do things keep happening to me
It's never ending
And I don't understand why
Why can't I just go on with my life
Why do I crave sad songs and lasting tears
And why do I have to feel sad to feel inspired
Why can't I be inspired when I'm happy

I always feel restrained
I crave outside
I crave the sky, the wind, the birds, and the trees
I wish I could write with my eyes closed
To truly write what I see, feel, fear, and dream of
I want to float into the sky
But at the same time I want to sink to the bottom of the ocean
Because I want to be free
But I don't know if that means living or dying
I want things to make sense again
I want to make sense again
They don't get it
Sometimes I don't even get it
My mind is so confusing that I have to take a breath
And try to move forward with it

Why does the ocean floor feel so inviting
Why do the dark nights and empty spaces give me so much peace
I like being alone
I like not wanting to see anyone
I take steps back and watch everyone ahead of me
I try to figure out what's going on
And why I am so different
But I can never seem to figure it out
And I know life was never meant to be easy or simple
But I know life was never meant to be empty or dangerous

I'm dangerous
I need to escape my mind
Because it controls everything I do
And that's the problem with human bodies
Mind over matter always wins
And by the time we realize what matters
It's too late
My mind always wins
But I always lose