There is no easy way to take it.
The rejection of many never compares to that of one once true


They are the ones that always hit you the hardest.
I have buried myself to avoid the pain of the many my defenses are stronger than the average man.

She was my exception .
I didn't try to stop you .
Only a fool pleads.
Giving what little dignity he has for a thin chance at something that is over to begin with.

Kelley was my poison she was like certain death and a good time all rolled into one.

She never cared for anyone let alone me
But I made her laugh and that was good enough to have her for six years .

She was the one I wasnt supposed to have.
Young beautiful she was from a world I could never understand.

But she loved me for what reasons I will never truly grasp.

I missed are passion for everything.
Fighting ,Drinking ,*******.
She understood madness with a good dose of her own.

The week she left me.for good I stayed on a three week drunk.
Eat pills like they were candy and found after awhile even being numb has a emptiness that simply masks pain.


The phone would ring and I knew it was her.
I couldn't answer.

It wasnt that I didn't want to hear from her.
It was I didn't want to allow lies to feed a glimmer of hope.

Writers are professional liars.
She was no writer.
She was something far worse.
She was a women whom had a mans mentality.

She was as  ****** up as me and I knew her love was toxic .
She was like a cigarette to a trying to quit smoker .

Sure it can **** you but man one draw and that poison never tasted so good.
Death can be tempting when it looks so ******* good.

I was the past to her .
Nobody ever stays in love with the past.

I sat there alone in my cluttered room watching one day flow into the next.

Dust grew upon the page.
My thoughts simply stayed in a state of rewind.

Im not home  now leave message after the beep.

Baby please talk to me.
Kelly's voice came through.

I didn't answer .
There's only silence amougsnt the tombstones.