I'm sorry it has taken so long For me to recognize your light Yet I'd be lying to say that I'm blind to the darkness you reflect Off of each curve and thicker Piece of skin with the images of My past pain swimming across the surface
Although I've hidden the old scars behind New ones filled with ink, the stains Never truly lift from my pale limbs Leaving paler veins that bulge through the art But I hold no shame for those choices
My bleeding scars reflect a beautiful life Within the death I felt looming too closely as I was forced to be an adult in a child's body As I begged for death and was given life with All the prospects of becoming whole Only after endless trials of trauma
Whether by blade, glass, and metal Or starvation, pressure, and pills I tried to paint the picture of a dreamland life Across the human limbs that I blamed for my pain Due to my distorted perspective of perfection Because the shapes never fit together And the moment I reached "enough" It always became too little
Not small enough, not flat enough Not worthy of love Too masculine, too feminine It always seemed wrong But now I know that My body is not the enemy
Through the dysphoria My body still breathes And I am no less human Even if my reflection does not reach my skewed standards of decency
Because perfect does not exist Because the shame I've been dealt Is not my responsibility to carry I can learn to love my body Without skipping meals and Without the sweet relief of pain Because I am only human And our bodies are all beautiful Because they're ours