If I'm being honest with myself,
I'd first have to admit that I'm not as brave as I put out to be
I pretend that I hate hugs when in reality,
It isn't the hug I hate but being so close that people could read the language of my insecurities

If I'm being completely honest with myself,
I'd have to admit that I crave intimacy with another soul but fear vulnerability
So with my lips I say "I'm chilling" while my heart is asking "where is he?"

If I'm being completely honest with myself,
I'd have to admit that I don't just fall in love with looks but I fall in love with souls full of flaws and I fall harder for eyes, a smile and a brain that'll put the sun and stars to shame

If I'm being completely honest with myself,
I'd have to admit that I'm pulled by people I can't have so I settle for being a friend who really is a stranger because if I were to really be honest with myself, I'd admit that my friends don't know me because I hide behind the jokes and advice I give

If I was being honest with myself,
I'd have to admit that I want to have a conversation with someone who understands and loves me for my mind and old soul.
If they loved my body that would be a plus too.

Finally, if I were to be honest with myself,
I crave a friendship so deep I could pray with a sister after she done put me in check.
Someone who understands that we don't always have to dress up with makeup and can just hang.
Not a superficial friendship.