It all started with a memory.
Pushing its way from the depths of my mind.
Submerging into a thought...
The thought causing my stomach to scream every time I walked past her.
My emo blue haired friend.
Well used to be a friend.
At one point even a little more.
The thought slowly but surely turned into a tear.  
Then a storm.
The rain kept falling my mind clouding up completely.
I hurt my girlfriend to much.
It's all unintentional but it's there.
Anyways the storm turned into a lightning strike.
The lightning taking the shape of a silver blade.
The blade I had sworn to put away.
The blade I had hidden ever so well just invade and emergency came about.
I thought this to be an emergency.
So the lightning struck leaving a thick river flowing down my hand and arm.
A river of red warm regret.
Blood.
I liked watching my own blood make it's way down my arm.
It gave me a sense of peace.
Peace knowing I'm so lost that I rely on self mutilation to get through the day.
Everyone has their choice of destruction...
some choose drugs.
Acholol.
Then there's me and I choose isolation and pain.
Being alone is my worst fear and my number one weakness.
When I'm alone I can act recklessly with no one to stop me.
Not that anyone cares anyways.
That's all I want.
Someone to stop me and hug me and tell me it'll be alright. Still I remain alone.
Sleepless nights...
no lights... this is my life now.
The tears leaving my pillow wet and the river flowing thickly from my arms.
This is my life now.