The days have grown dim
and the nights slumber-less
piles upon piles of papers
clustered against the wall

it's ink rots and whither's
against the strands of time
tormenting me with unpaid bills
and threats of a foreclosed home

The idle threats of separation
have grown familiar, the sparks
of romance no longer seem apparent  
I question our vows....

I question my church and I question my religion
rosaries wrapped around my throat
suffocating the faith that I still have left

These wine bottles have become my god
I drink the blood like it's water
the water cleanses my sins and blind my senses    
it's sweet but bitter

I wonder.... What if.....
but, if I knew the answer
then perhaps this gun
would not be laying upon my nightstand....

What if...... What if......