"She says, 'It's only in my head.' She says, 'Shh, I know it's only in my head."
I was baptized when I was four years old except it didn't turn out like most baptisms do. It was a backwards baptism, my childish innocence was left floating in the bath water like dead skin and I stepped out bathed in sin. Reborn in sin. Seeds of sin planted into my growing body by the man with the face like Jesus. "**** on it like a lollipop", he said trying to appeal to the childish innocence that he unknowingly stole just moments before.
I did as he said obedient child that I was. I didn't know the difference then like I do now but the difference doesn't even matter anymore. When you plant corrupted seeds you grow a corrupted tree.
Now I wake up with blood under my fingernails from trying to shed the hate branded into my skin. Now I'm constantly fighting a civil war between the devil and god raging inside of me. Now I feel guilty for who I have become because I never knew how innocence felt. Now my poisoned mind only knows to yield to the sinful whispers that float inside my head whenever I close my eyes.
I may have lost my innocence but I guess I didn't lose my obedience.
"But the ******* the car in the parking lot says, 'Man, you should try to take a shot. Can't you see my walls are crumbling?' Then she looks up at the building says she's thinking of jumping says she's tired of life. She must be tired of something."
We talk just like lions but we sacrifice like lambs 'Round here she's slipping through my hands