Sep 2016
You had never seen a babe more beautiful than I
Your first
the little round head covered in curls
blessed your eyes with wonder
But your loving heart was weak
and cracked
As a mother's roses bloomed
Your demons picked up prunes
to cut them back
for love was a currency you lacked
First child
First daughter
An experiment in parenting
It's always hard to be the First
but I never doubted Papa's love
His heart was always strong enough
and helped build up the walls that you destroyed
Your first
the little round head covered in curls
blessed your eyes with wonder
But your loving heart was weak
and cracked
As a mother's roses bloomed
Your demons picked up prunes
to cut them back
for love was a currency you lacked
First child
First daughter
An experiment in parenting
It's always hard to be the First
but I never doubted Papa's love
His heart was always strong enough
and helped build up the walls that you destroyed
I hate thinking negatively about my mom, but my struggle to be free in all areas of my life must necessarily include a long, hard battle to reverse every way my Mom tried through all the years to mold me into something that is not me. I want to be free. I will be free. She really is a wonderful woman, and she brought me up very well, but I can't settle for less than everything God made me to be, so here's to a series of poems on my mommy issues
