The past comes back to the present
Never dies
Persists
Against a change of heart
Resists
Because events are familiar it
Enlists
Itself
Because it never wanted to be anything else

I don't change much either
I'm still a joker
Thanks to my step-mum, a secondary smoker
A provoker
And all-round bad influence
If you saw me
As I see me
Imperfect and ugly
Riddled with scars that will always be a
Part
Of me
That I hide so nobody else can
See

I repeatedly feel like
****
Sometimes the stress is too much, and I can't
Deal with it
But do we all?
We fall
Down the side of a skyscraper, panicked
We call
But there is never a saviour

No God when we need him
Nobody to believe in
Sins causing us all to have hearts that lie,
Bleeding
As we grow old and our hairlines,
Receding
Repeating
History on repeat, stuttering
Build. Learn. Live. Die

Nothing ever changes,
It's all the same
God seems to be
Playing me
Like a mother-*******
Game

And I don't like it,
But He just keeps on going
Snowing
Me under a blanket of ******
Blowing
It all in my general direction
No protection
Not to mention
My lack of obsession
With Divine Intervention
An invention
Invented by those who seek attention
Pretending
That someone out there
ACTUALLY GIVES A ****!

But I know better
There is no higher purpose
Because
If there was
Why does it never change
When I feel worthless?